I worked a "baby shift" last night. (That's what I call it when it's only 4 hours. Haha.) The store was pretty empty and I was up at Customer Service all by myself. So all I really had to do was listen to the customers around me. In walks this pretty common looking man dressed up in a business suit and he begins to look at clothing in the Men's section which just happens to be next to Customer Service. He's on the phone and pretty close to me so I can hear everything he's saying.
He asks to the person on the other end, "So is your husband home tonight?"
After a small pause, "So can I come over?"
Sleeze ball!
Sheesh.
Come on people. Someone is always listening. If not the friendly girl at Customer Servie, God is.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Like A Child
Today I spent with Joshua.
Which was actually a small miracle.
I'll be honest with the world. I don't have much money these days. Which is not new to me, but it hasn't been the case for a while. When I moved to Florida I was blessed with a good job and a good steady paycheck. It meant that I felt "safe" and I could give a lot to ministries I cared about. It was really nice! :) I could just buy things I wanted when I wanted. Like a new digital camera that's super nice. I could just pay for a trip to Cuba right on the spot. Having money is nice! Haha. We all know that.
I left my full time job to what looked like an even better part time job so I could go to school. That fell through in a week... hmmmm. Left me with a lot of questions.
Anyways, God provided once again! I now have a part time job that I really like. But I don't have a lot of hours and it doesn't pay well hence the not much money situation.
So yesterday I had to buy medicine even though I didn't really have money for it. So visa paid for it and I figured I'd deal with it later. But then I got a phone call that night and Joshua's mom wanted me to watch him today. Which resulted in enough money to cover the medicine and a tank of gas, which is also needed soon.
Well, at least I consider that a small miracle. :)
I'm reading "The Great Divorce" these days with some friends for a book study and it's really making me think about things. How much we love the things that "comfort" us on earth and how we're not willing to let go of them. But if we really want to experience Jesus, if we really want to reach heaven and relationship with God we have to let go of the comforts. It seems really painful at first because we have to give up all we've ever known that's comforted us but then as we progress we find what's really satisfying. Then we see our fleshly desires for what they really are. We see what a shadow and hollow person we were. But you have to make that step. You have to let go. And I'm afraid too many of us "Christians" don't make that step. We know about God but we don't let go of the world and really know God. We don't trust God to give us what's really satisfying so we pacify ourselves with worldly comforts. And all it will do is lead to hell. A knowledge of God does not save us. It's in recognizing how stupid we are and what a failure we really are that we can even begin to grasp the things of God. Oh how hard that is for us grown ups.
Joshua will just look up to me and say, "Help please." At lunch when I pull out his applesauce and start putting it in his mouth for him he doesn't scream, "I'm not a baby! I can do it myself" But he accepts my help. Knowing more will get in his mouth this way. (Believe me I've babysat enough to know not every child is this way... lol) But that's the kind of child we need to be. We need to trust God completely and know that by acknowledging we need him to "feed us our applesauce" in the end our tummies will be more satisfied because more will actually get in our mouth.
Especially in this time when I have little money and am starting to feel pulled towards something where I'll "need" more I have to learn how to let God satisfy me and trust him for things instead of grasping for what I think will comfort me.
It's a journey I say...
Which was actually a small miracle.
I'll be honest with the world. I don't have much money these days. Which is not new to me, but it hasn't been the case for a while. When I moved to Florida I was blessed with a good job and a good steady paycheck. It meant that I felt "safe" and I could give a lot to ministries I cared about. It was really nice! :) I could just buy things I wanted when I wanted. Like a new digital camera that's super nice. I could just pay for a trip to Cuba right on the spot. Having money is nice! Haha. We all know that.
I left my full time job to what looked like an even better part time job so I could go to school. That fell through in a week... hmmmm. Left me with a lot of questions.
Anyways, God provided once again! I now have a part time job that I really like. But I don't have a lot of hours and it doesn't pay well hence the not much money situation.
So yesterday I had to buy medicine even though I didn't really have money for it. So visa paid for it and I figured I'd deal with it later. But then I got a phone call that night and Joshua's mom wanted me to watch him today. Which resulted in enough money to cover the medicine and a tank of gas, which is also needed soon.
Well, at least I consider that a small miracle. :)
I'm reading "The Great Divorce" these days with some friends for a book study and it's really making me think about things. How much we love the things that "comfort" us on earth and how we're not willing to let go of them. But if we really want to experience Jesus, if we really want to reach heaven and relationship with God we have to let go of the comforts. It seems really painful at first because we have to give up all we've ever known that's comforted us but then as we progress we find what's really satisfying. Then we see our fleshly desires for what they really are. We see what a shadow and hollow person we were. But you have to make that step. You have to let go. And I'm afraid too many of us "Christians" don't make that step. We know about God but we don't let go of the world and really know God. We don't trust God to give us what's really satisfying so we pacify ourselves with worldly comforts. And all it will do is lead to hell. A knowledge of God does not save us. It's in recognizing how stupid we are and what a failure we really are that we can even begin to grasp the things of God. Oh how hard that is for us grown ups.
Joshua will just look up to me and say, "Help please." At lunch when I pull out his applesauce and start putting it in his mouth for him he doesn't scream, "I'm not a baby! I can do it myself" But he accepts my help. Knowing more will get in his mouth this way. (Believe me I've babysat enough to know not every child is this way... lol) But that's the kind of child we need to be. We need to trust God completely and know that by acknowledging we need him to "feed us our applesauce" in the end our tummies will be more satisfied because more will actually get in our mouth.
Especially in this time when I have little money and am starting to feel pulled towards something where I'll "need" more I have to learn how to let God satisfy me and trust him for things instead of grasping for what I think will comfort me.
It's a journey I say...
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Misinterpreted
So I have a beef I want to discuss.
Americans. We live in a "me", sex saturated culture. It's disgusting really. But we look at every person and think, "What can they do for me?" And since we base our self esteem on whether or not a good amount of people consider us sexy, we also decide whether or not they would think we are attractive and if they are attractive enough for us.
And then, if someone steps in and is not concerned with either of those things, it's like people don't believe them! If you sit down with someone of the opposite sex and you're genuinely nice to them, pay attention to what they are saying, act interested in their life... everyone including that person assumes you're sexually and/or romantically attracted to them!
Then on top of that! If you don't live up to the image of the type of person that would make them look good, they become disgusted with your interest. Even though you're just being friendly! You're punished and embarrassed for being a nice person who isn't out to just find people who meet needs.
This also just further sends you down into the hole of "nobody thinks I'm attractive". The possibility that I could be considering them grosses them out? How ugly am I really?
So blogging world, what's a girl to do?! Never talk to another boy for the rest of her life?
It's a sad sad world out there. Messed up. Did all my pronouns confuse anyone? lol.
Americans. We live in a "me", sex saturated culture. It's disgusting really. But we look at every person and think, "What can they do for me?" And since we base our self esteem on whether or not a good amount of people consider us sexy, we also decide whether or not they would think we are attractive and if they are attractive enough for us.
And then, if someone steps in and is not concerned with either of those things, it's like people don't believe them! If you sit down with someone of the opposite sex and you're genuinely nice to them, pay attention to what they are saying, act interested in their life... everyone including that person assumes you're sexually and/or romantically attracted to them!
Then on top of that! If you don't live up to the image of the type of person that would make them look good, they become disgusted with your interest. Even though you're just being friendly! You're punished and embarrassed for being a nice person who isn't out to just find people who meet needs.
This also just further sends you down into the hole of "nobody thinks I'm attractive". The possibility that I could be considering them grosses them out? How ugly am I really?
So blogging world, what's a girl to do?! Never talk to another boy for the rest of her life?
It's a sad sad world out there. Messed up. Did all my pronouns confuse anyone? lol.
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