Amanda

take a deep breath and PUSH!

2010-01-10T09:29:00.000-08:00

Recently I went with my father to see "The Blind Side". I'm quite the fan of dates. :) I like to spend one-on-one time with people and just do something special together. Sadly though, I have very few people to go on such dates with. But my dad is always up for it! :)

To start with I saw previews for this movie months ago when I was on another such date with my mother and we saw "Julie and Julia". By the end of the preview my mother was bawling. How cute, rght? :) Unfortunately I had no tissues to offer her and she doesn't like using my sleeve. Anyways...

The movie was great! I thought so anyways. Critics are always so... critical. Hmmm, isn't that ironic? :P It was also one of those movies that speaks to your "insides". Sure, there's lots of good movies out there. Two of my favorites are "Enchanted" and "Babe". Enchanted is just a good movie but Babe speaks to my insides. Most people laugh at me when I say that but I know it's only because they think I'm cute. ;)

We, as people, have such a hard time believing in ourselves. I kjnow for myself every day I wake up to thougths about how I'm not qualified to do what is on my plate today. Not because I don't have the training but because my person is not good enough. I know, all my friends that read this are like, NOT TRUE AMANDA! And maybe it isn't true, but that's how my honest insides feel. Too often we portray the kind of happy person that we think the world wants to see and not very often do we reveal our honest insides. Hmmm... that's a whole nother post in itself.

So I'm watching this movie and pretty much the whole time I have that familiar lump in my throat. It's familiar because, I don't cry. Sure things make me want to cry, but I don't do it. I've always felt like it didn't portray the kind of strong person I want to be.

And that's the thing! None of us really are the strong kind of person we want to be. I have a few friends... and I hear the stories about how we just want to run into a small closet and hide and sometimes we do just that! In college I lived in a rather small apartment with four other ladies. We had one such a closet. They called it the "Prayer Closet" but I used it more as a "Hiding Closet". :)

I'm not very strong on my own. None of us are. Every time I've had to do something important in my life I've always needed a little "push". Thank goodness for those people who will "push" us! Who will get in our face and tell us the truth about ourselves. Not the "clean up your act" truth but the, "I KNOW you can do this and by golly I'm gonna MAKE sure you do!" truth. :) Yeah Disney is right, you do need to believe in yourself. But I think even more importantly we need people who believe in us. We need the fairy godmother, the genie, Farmer Hoggett (that's a Babe reference by the way ;)), and the mom from the Blind Side.

Their job is tough, they are often rejected by us. They have to work at getting through. I am so thankful for their faithfulness though. Or where would I be now? Still in that closet in Minnesota? I am where I am today and headed where I am today not because of my own ambition or my own greatness but because of the people who helped me become who I am.

Who are your "pushers"? :)

New Baby

2009-12-20T06:46:00.000-08:00

So a week ago yesterday Sarah had her baby. :)

Hannah Marie
11:50 pm, December 12
8 lbs. 7 oz.
22 inches

I was saving this "announcement blog" for when I had pictures but I have no idea when I'll actually get to see my new little niece so when I have a picture then I'll post it. :)

She called me last Saturday night around midnight and said, "Amanda? Is that you?"

To which of course I replied, "Yeah, you alright?"

"I just had a baby. It really hurt."

...

Things are going well. I got my grades for this semester and I'm a 4.0 student! Yipee. I really love my new job and the cooler weather is making me happy too.

Yep, things are just swell. :)

Revelations

2009-11-29T18:34:00.000-08:00

So it's almost December. It's Christmas season! I finished all my shopping before all the crazies started. :) We set up the tree.

Yesterday my parents and I rode our bikes around at Riverbend Park which is as close to the Florida wilderness as one can get. We saw lots of pretty birds and did I mention it was freezing? I was wearing fleece and still cold. Very odd!

At church tonight we talked about Revelation 5 and the scroll.

Then I saw in the right hand of him who sat on the throne a scroll with writing on both sides and sealed with seven seals. And I saw a mighty angel proclaiming in a loud voice, "Who is worthy to break the seals and open the scroll?" But no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look inside it. I wept and wept because no one was found who was worthy to open the scroll or look inside. Then one of the elders said to me, "Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals."

The coolness about all of this is not really realized without a little history. Whenever an Israelite would get into debt or trouble they would lose their property and the deed would be rolled up and sealed and taken from them. Their only hope was if a "Kinsman Redeemer" would come and rescue them. They had to be related to them and they could come and pay the price for the property and then give it back to their relative.

Which is why Jesus had to become human, our brother, so he could be our "kin". He was the only person who could open the seal and give us back our inheritance. The only person with the ability to pay the price.

And that is why heaven worships. Because Jesus has put things back to their rightful place and paid the price.

As a closing thought... here are pictures of my new charges...

Carolyn & Genevieve

DD Pumpkin Muffin

2009-10-26T17:43:00.000-07:00

So today I tried Dunkin Donut's pumpkin muffin.

Heaven.
In.
Your.
Mouth.

You know how you eat a muffin and you get done with the top part and you just want to throw the rest of the muffin away? Well, not so with a Dunkin Donut's pumpkin muffin. There is no bad part of a Dunkin Donut's pumpkin muffin. Next, to try Dunkin Donut's coffee and I may never enter a Starbucks ever again. *gasp* Then the transformation from Washingtonian to Floridian might be complete.

Cold Front

2009-10-17T20:57:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in my bed watching my "demon" show and wearing sweatpants. It's finally cool enough to break out the really comfy clothes. :) I might even just pull out my down comforter to sleep with. I miss cold. Like a lot these days. I miss Pacific Northwest weather. Oh well. I really can't see me going anywhere north anytime in the near future. But I guess who knows really.

Tomorrow I'm going to wake up and get to spend another day anyway that I please. I finally have a few days off after working every day for a week and a half. Which is delightful.

I went shopping for baby clothes today at Khol's with the madre. Holy cow it's so cute! I don't know how you're supposed to even pick anything. There's so much to choose from and it's all so adorable. We picked a few things and will send them on to the mother-to-be.

I also discovered Sonic today. Very good place. I'm surprised that no one has taken me there in the past. Two thumbs up from me.

I really don't enjoy reading blogs that are just an overview of what the person did that day and then here I went and did just that. Oh well...

American Dream

2009-10-11T19:44:00.000-07:00

So I've been thinking about this song a lot lately.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yQXBKS-AkM

I Admit I'm A Slacker

2009-10-02T06:45:00.000-07:00

Do my readers read the news? The earthquakes and storms recently have been devastating. I'm taking Earth Science as a class this semester in school and we just got done learning about the tectonic plates and we're going to be starting in on the chapters about weather. It's interesting when you study it but it's almost like the earth is trying to destroy itself. Well one of the things you learn in science, "Everything desires to be at rest." Now how a rock or plates on the earth could desire anything is beyond me. But apparently everything in creation wants to be at a place where it is no longer striving. Including us!

Who says the Bible and science contradict each other? ;)

The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

~ Romans 8:19-25

So I read this article on being slacker. I tried really hard to find the link to post here... but to no success. Sad, because it was really good!

Anyways, I came to the conclusion after reading it that I am hopelessly a slacker. I just can't make myself believe that some company I work for is the most important thing in life. I can't put all my energy into a "job" that has no eternal significance. All I can do is what is asked of me and then go home and completely leave my workplace out of my mind because it is so insignificant to me. Mind you the people I work with are not insignificant. I'm friends with a lot of them. Relationships are very important. But the job I do is insignificant. Get it? I believe with all my heart that God has me in the place that he has me but I'm not going to stress myself out and overwork for something that is insignificant in the light of the really important things in life... I know that all you work-a-holics out there are totally disgusted with me right now.

But the article said that the work-a-holics can learn from types like me because we know how to have better blood pressure levels and we're happy. And we're grownups but we still know how to have fun. Which I think is true and I really have no desire to change myself. :)

All that to say I think I'm in line with the whole of creation. I also long to be at rest. I'll try as often as I can to experience my own heaven on earth. To stop striving, just be me and enjoy God and what he has created here on earth. As I'm learning in science class... it won't be here forever.

September 28th Sunset :)

2009-09-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

Super pretty towards the end...

Some Thoughts On Womanhood

2009-09-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking about the title of my blog today.

Amanda
An American Woman of the 21st Century

For the first time in all of history women have complete control of their life. I am the only person I have to answer to. (Within reason of course.) And people know me as, Amanda. Not "Mrs. Some man's name" or "the daughter of so-and-so". I have my own identity. I make my own choices. I am limited by nothing. I can go anywhere, do anything, be whoever I want. Hear me roar! lol.

Anyways, it's the last thing I want! I hate having to make decisions. I hate having to pick something for my life and then wondering if I'm failing and doing the wrong thing. I hate going to bed at night and the only person I have to sort things out with or answer to is myself. I hate thinking about the future and all I can see is me, 9-5 working to pay the bills and coming home to microwave food, late night TV, and "conversations" with my cat. Maybe with the occasional night out with friends. Is that what life has come down to for the American woman?

There are really good things though too! I mean, can you imagine a time when you had no say over who had access to your body? Or a time when you dare not share an opinion or political thought because no man believed you were smart enough? Or a time when you couldn't write or read because there was no time for such things and you were too busy having babies? (Some women really LOVE kids and having them and that's great! But some don't... and they shouldn't be forced to be mothers I say.)

So I don't know. Honestly, I wouldn't want to be living in another time. But there are things about the past that I wish were still a part of today. Like fathers who take care of their daughters when they aren't married and don't force them to be independent (not letting them be lazy but not forcing them out on their own), some kind of "role" that I could find a way to fit into (there's nothing guiding me here! and I don't know "what I want"), etc.

I'm finding my way. Or trying to. Yes, we have a lot more freedom now but I don't think our life is any "easier". If anything, we have to become less like women and more like men just in order to survive.

Where We Really Belong

2009-09-22T15:23:00.000-07:00

"We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire... Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

~ C.S. Lewis (The Weight of Glory)

Lewis goes on to say that we are promised 5 things in Christ...

1) We shall be with Christ.
2) We shall be like him.
3) We shall have "glory".
4) We shall feast and be entertained.
5) We shall have some sort of official position in the universe-ruling cities, judging angels, being pillars of God's temple.

It amazes me to watch how people and even myself at times think the world can offer more satisfying things than God can. How silly! I liked Lewis's analogy of a child playing in the mud... We need to let him pick us up out of the muck and take us to where we really belong.

And did you hear where Lewis said we really belong? (Said tongue-in-cheek like) The sea! :)

Florida Sky

2009-09-20T10:52:00.000-07:00

This was part of the sunset last night...

Every night (and every morning if you wake up early) the Florida sky has a beautiful new surprise of colors for you. It's really unlike anything I've ever seen. Definitely not something pictures can fully capture.

College Driving

2009-09-14T17:50:00.000-07:00

So something I learned at college today....

College students are worse drivers than old ladies.

Yup, you heard me right.

Maybe my mother is right, maybe it's because I come from the Northwest. But when you come into a merge lane you are supposed to speed up until you get to the end and then move easily in to join traffic. NOT stop at the beginning of the merge lane and wait until there is a space a mile wide so you can cross all three lanes of traffic and force all the cars behind you to wait until you do so. At least old ladies will barge their way in to traffic and not wait forever. =P

So every day I get trapped at the merge lane and there I sit with my hand on my car horn and wait for the awful drivers to get out of my way.

Happenings

2009-09-10T15:38:00.000-07:00

So I'm a college student now. I started classes at the community college the end of August. So far it's all fun and not a lot of work. Maybe that's just community college?

I found the hardest thing for me in this endeavor is not turning my brain off. Like when my science professor tries to tell me how many billions of years old the earth is. I think what he's saying is nonsense and so I don't bother store the information in my head. Well, just watch, the "nonsense" is going to come up in a test and I'll need to remember it! Same with my sociology class. Though mostly sociology is just interesting. People trying to figure out people. Hmm... You can even get a whole degree just in the study of people trying to figure out people. Actually there's quite a few crazy degrees out there! You just have to look for them. :)

Between working a lot and taking classes I stay pretty busy these days. And sadly, find little time to blog. I wonder if anyone has checked here recently at all?

I'm trying to figure out something to blog about. Like a theme. Any ideas? :)

8.9.09

2009-08-08T20:48:00.000-07:00

Blogging has been slow lately. So has life. I've enjoyed the last few months as a beach bum but I think things are about to change.

This past week I've been hanging out with Joshua (7) and Caleb (3). We swim, we play at the beach, we eat a lot of peanut butter, we watch Bolt as often as we can, we take naps (rather I take a nap and they watch a movie), we go to the library, etc. We get to do it all again next week. :) And this weekend I'm working both Saturday and Sunday at the store. Which is nice because we all have bills to be paid. I think I like having something to do each day.

I've been friendless and lonely lately. Though I have work. That's nice. :) Anyone feel like sending me an update email about what's going on in your life? :)

Lessons

2009-07-24T15:13:00.000-07:00

Today Mom and I had lunch with my new friend Emilie. She is 85 and I met her through a coworker at Stein Mart. She wanted someone responsible (I guess that's me!) to come and house sit for her while she goes to Michigan. So the day that I went to hear about how to care for her cat and house we ended up chatting for three hours and became friends. Emilie lives alone and so I called and asked if she would like to come to lunch with my mother and I. What a joy she is! I've never met someone so happy about her life.

We had lunch and then she convinced us to also have dessert, you only live once right? Afterwards she invited us over and wanted Mom to play the piano and have us all sing old Sinatra songs and the like. It reminded me of our nursing home visiting days.

Before lunch with Emilie today I had breakfast with Sarah. Also a wonderful addition to the day! We had bagels for breakfast and talked about all sorts of things. We then veered down to the topic of gossip and what it really is. I was thinking about how I don't participate in "petty gossip" too much (mostly because I have so many opinions in my brain stored up that I can think of so many other things to talk about!) but there are some people that I feel have really wounded me. When I meet someone else who was also wounded by said person I am super quick to share my story with that someone else so we can feel bad together. But what good does that do really?

It's kind of like when you have a wound and it starts to scab over and instead of letting it be when it starts to get itchy you peel it off and let it bleed again. You've wounded yourself again. Instead of walking in forgiveness we'd rather peel off the old scab and proclaim, "See! I'm still bleeding! I'm still wounded!" And then we are never healed.

I don't think healing comes from pretending like everything is fine. Or sharing life with someone who isn't a safe person. But healing comes when we don't look for sympathy in others but instead look for discernment and a lesson learned from God.

Creeps During The Baby Shift

2009-07-02T12:28:00.000-07:00

I worked a "baby shift" last night. (That's what I call it when it's only 4 hours. Haha.) The store was pretty empty and I was up at Customer Service all by myself. So all I really had to do was listen to the customers around me. In walks this pretty common looking man dressed up in a business suit and he begins to look at clothing in the Men's section which just happens to be next to Customer Service. He's on the phone and pretty close to me so I can hear everything he's saying.

He asks to the person on the other end, "So is your husband home tonight?"

After a small pause, "So can I come over?"

Sleeze ball!

Sheesh.

Come on people. Someone is always listening. If not the friendly girl at Customer Servie, God is.

Like A Child

2009-06-17T17:30:00.001-07:00

Today I spent with Joshua.

Which was actually a small miracle.

I'll be honest with the world. I don't have much money these days. Which is not new to me, but it hasn't been the case for a while. When I moved to Florida I was blessed with a good job and a good steady paycheck. It meant that I felt "safe" and I could give a lot to ministries I cared about. It was really nice! :) I could just buy things I wanted when I wanted. Like a new digital camera that's super nice. I could just pay for a trip to Cuba right on the spot. Having money is nice! Haha. We all know that.

I left my full time job to what looked like an even better part time job so I could go to school. That fell through in a week... hmmmm. Left me with a lot of questions.

Anyways, God provided once again! I now have a part time job that I really like. But I don't have a lot of hours and it doesn't pay well hence the not much money situation.

So yesterday I had to buy medicine even though I didn't really have money for it. So visa paid for it and I figured I'd deal with it later. But then I got a phone call that night and Joshua's mom wanted me to watch him today. Which resulted in enough money to cover the medicine and a tank of gas, which is also needed soon.

Well, at least I consider that a small miracle. :)

I'm reading "The Great Divorce" these days with some friends for a book study and it's really making me think about things. How much we love the things that "comfort" us on earth and how we're not willing to let go of them. But if we really want to experience Jesus, if we really want to reach heaven and relationship with God we have to let go of the comforts. It seems really painful at first because we have to give up all we've ever known that's comforted us but then as we progress we find what's really satisfying. Then we see our fleshly desires for what they really are. We see what a shadow and hollow person we were. But you have to make that step. You have to let go. And I'm afraid too many of us "Christians" don't make that step. We know about God but we don't let go of the world and really know God. We don't trust God to give us what's really satisfying so we pacify ourselves with worldly comforts. And all it will do is lead to hell. A knowledge of God does not save us. It's in recognizing how stupid we are and what a failure we really are that we can even begin to grasp the things of God. Oh how hard that is for us grown ups.

Joshua will just look up to me and say, "Help please." At lunch when I pull out his applesauce and start putting it in his mouth for him he doesn't scream, "I'm not a baby! I can do it myself" But he accepts my help. Knowing more will get in his mouth this way. (Believe me I've babysat enough to know not every child is this way... lol) But that's the kind of child we need to be. We need to trust God completely and know that by acknowledging we need him to "feed us our applesauce" in the end our tummies will be more satisfied because more will actually get in our mouth.

Especially in this time when I have little money and am starting to feel pulled towards something where I'll "need" more I have to learn how to let God satisfy me and trust him for things instead of grasping for what I think will comfort me.

It's a journey I say...

Misinterpreted

2009-06-07T20:23:00.000-07:00

So I have a beef I want to discuss.

Americans. We live in a "me", sex saturated culture. It's disgusting really. But we look at every person and think, "What can they do for me?" And since we base our self esteem on whether or not a good amount of people consider us sexy, we also decide whether or not they would think we are attractive and if they are attractive enough for us.

And then, if someone steps in and is not concerned with either of those things, it's like people don't believe them! If you sit down with someone of the opposite sex and you're genuinely nice to them, pay attention to what they are saying, act interested in their life... everyone including that person assumes you're sexually and/or romantically attracted to them!

Then on top of that! If you don't live up to the image of the type of person that would make them look good, they become disgusted with your interest. Even though you're just being friendly! You're punished and embarrassed for being a nice person who isn't out to just find people who meet needs.

This also just further sends you down into the hole of "nobody thinks I'm attractive". The possibility that I could be considering them grosses them out? How ugly am I really?

So blogging world, what's a girl to do?! Never talk to another boy for the rest of her life?

It's a sad sad world out there. Messed up. Did all my pronouns confuse anyone? lol.

Cuba

2009-06-02T19:43:00.000-07:00

So some quick Cuba highlights...

So we got on the airplane in Miami and noticed that Vanessa Williams was on the airplane with us. And she was also there on the way home. Fun times.

It was way hot there... and no swimming pool! Though we did swim in the ocean for a while and it was beautiful. :)

The people at the churches are beautiful and so hospitable. The churches all have gardens to help feed their members and the community.

We made gospel color bracelets with the children and then some of the older ladies came over and wanted them also. It was cute! And I still remembered how to say it all in Spanish. Thanks Sammy! :)

Cuba was some of what I expected and some not. Nobody is homeless in Cuba. That's a different feeling. The government provides everyone with a home. But the government can't provide everyone with enough food, hence, the church gardens. The thing is though, no average American would probably want to live in a Cuban house but for most Cubans it's better than what they had before the Revolution. So it was definitely a learning experience. Some days I felt like my mind was on overload. Because Cuba is really unlike any other place.

So lots of stories some could be blogged and some not but there's a little bit. :)

I'm Still Alive :)

2009-05-16T15:11:00.000-07:00

I haven't written a blog in a long time. Hmmm. I haven't been doing anything either. I have no job right now. (Kind of a long story) But it's alright. I'm leaving for Cuba on Friday and when I return I will be the newest employee at Stein Mart. I've never worked retail before but I think this will be a good new experience...

While I haven't been working I've been spending massive amounts of time at the beach, reading (a little), watching tv (I discovered that I really love Raymond like everyone else does), going shopping when there aren't a million people at the store because it isn't 7 at night, and sleeping in. :-D The sleeping in is definitely my favorite part.

I'm going to be a fulltime student soon too. I'm going to be completing my BA which I started a few years ago. Then who knows where I'll go from there! Not looking forward to taking Algebra... :-S

I went to see "The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" this week. Blah. I mean it was cute and all and predictable. But, come on! Men like that do not exist. And if they did they should never end up with the really nice wonderful girl. If she's all that wonderful then she's smart enough not to fall for a "fixer upper". Especially one who probably most definitely has a long list of STDs. :-D

Anyways, there's a good little update. For the few faithful readers who read anymore... :)

Super Delicious Job vs. Convictions

2009-04-23T21:38:00.000-07:00

So my new favoritest thing to drink the whole wide world is Coke Zero. ---->

It is amazing my friends. It does not have that nasty after taste of Diet Coke but it doesn't have any nasty fattening sugar either. It is simply amazing and wonderful. I cannot sing it's praises enough. Today I received a whole 24 pack of Coke Zero and I'm still smiling about it.

Today at the preschool one of my kids, Rebecca, grabbed my arm and told me she didn't want me to leave but she wanted me to stay right there with her. Tear! How sad. How do you tell a 2-year-old that taking care of her all day is a "job" not a free will choice (shall we say) and that now you have been offered a much better paying job and have to leave! There's really no way to explain it. A two-year-old spells love, T-I-M-E, and the interpret the massive amounts of time I spend with them as love. And I do love them. But I don't spend all day with them because I love them, but because I'm paid to spend all day with them. It'll probably take them quite a few years before they could understand that one. Tomorrow is my last day and I do think there will be a few tears!

I think I found a college that is going to work for me and my goals. That makes me happy. :)

I've been thinking. I just have a really hard time wanting to pay the community college (as cheap as it may be) money to teach me things that are not true. I do not want to pay for a Biology class so I can learn about evolution. I really just cannot pay for that. I don't care if it means I won't get a super delicious job and I'll make less money. Being rich is not worth that to me. I'd rather support the small, Christian, "normal" schools so that maybe someday they will be a little more affordable. And some are pretty cheap! (By normal I mean they don't require you to make your own clothing, they don't make you wear nylons in Florida, and they aren't all falling over being "slain in the spirit", etc)

I know other people just love love their secular colleges and y'know, that's great, you're probably saving money. But I just cannot in good conscience do it. Maybe it's because I was homeschooled and all my science text books were from Apologia. Maybe it's because my mother is Karen Pudwill. Maybe it's just my strong willed personality. I don't know. And I don't know why I'm taking up so much blog time for it. Let me know if you even think this is interesting. ;)

Anyways, it's late and I will return with more opinions later.

Politics In Preschool

2009-04-09T19:17:00.001-07:00

Today we had the annual Easter egg hunt with our preschoolers. The elderly people from upstairs hid the eggs in our playground and then watched as the 2 year olds ran around finding them. It was really kind of cute.

So we get back to the classroom and the teacher asks all of the children to empty their basket of eggs that they found on the carpet so she can divide them up "evenly".

Caleb, the most republican 2-year-old I've ever met asks me, "Why?"

To which I replied, "Hmmm. I guess we're being democrats today."

"Well that's not fair." He says.

"No Caleb, it's really not. It doesn't matter how hard you worked Caleb at hunting down eggs and that your friend Wade over there just stood in one place and did nothing. In the end the teacher will take away your 9 eggs and send you home with only 4."

"That's not fair." He repeated.

Well, folks, it's really not. But what can ya do?

In other news, I have a new job. I start the end of April. It's kind of exciting. I'm sure I'll write more about it later. :)

Getting Older and Facing Death

2009-03-21T19:08:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow I turn 22. I don't know that I really want to. It's kinda the last hill before you become a "grown up". Y'know? Once you're 22 you have to have things figured out and be responsible because you're no longer allowed to do the stupid things the 21 and under crowd does. Or at least it looks that way to me. :P

The weird part is I don't have things all figured out. But it's okay. Because I know that God reveals all in time. It's not nice to think that people might have certain expectations for you to do something wonderful and suddenly land a $100,000 a year job. I'd rather be perfectly happy doing something I enjoy doing... and make enough to live on. At least I think there's more happiness in that than in having a high paying job.

I had really good lobster bisque for my birthday dinner tonight with the fam... and tomorrow I will spend the day at Disney World because they let you in for free on your birthday. :)

Warning: Graphic Story Ahead. :o)

Today I almost died, well kinda.

My mom and I went shopping today and we decided to give blood because the donation center was there.

So everything was going swimmingly and they finished and all and had gauze on my arm.

I was sitting there drinking my yummy orange juice when all the sudden my arm felt wet... so I looked over and the gauze was soaked in my blood and it was dripping out all over the chair and the floor and myself.

These three ladies quickly rushed over with more gauze to apply pressure and make it stop and then she asks me, "How are you feeling?"

To which I replied, "Really lightheaded actually." Which is really an odd feeling if you'd like to know.

Then... they got a little panicked because I think they thought I might pass out but I survived. Though I do think the extra loss of blood is what made me a little lightheaded. It is extremely weird to watch your own blood pouring out of you onto the floor. Hmmm....

When you go to the center instead of the blood bus you get to watch tv which makes the experience just a little bit more fun. FYI. Oh! And don't let my story deter you from giving blood because it's a very good thing to do and they assured me that the whole blood pouring out of you thing does not happen very often. :) lol.

Beagle Street

2009-03-16T19:42:00.000-07:00

So my walking buddy and I were walking the other day... and we got to this street where this huge dog almost attacked us through his fence and if that wasn't bad enough! We continued walking and all the sudden this beagle jumps up above the his fence and starts barking at us... scaring me again... so I keep walking and another beagle does the same thing. I figure I'm done with surprises because, who has more than two beagles? Well apparently these people do because then another beagle popped up, then another, and then another. Six beagles people. Six crazy yapping beagles. I am so glad I'm not their neighbor. :P

We've decided to avoid that street in the future. Haha.

The New Leaf

2009-03-05T19:29:00.000-08:00

Today I started something I always thought would be impossible. And day one wasn't too hard. I did have to make some tough choices. Say no to some things I really wanted to say yes to. I suffered a little... I peed a lot (I know, maybe TMI :P) but I feel good about myself.

I am going to consciously work on losing weight. For self esteem reasons yes, but mostly for health reasons. And I'm okay with broadcasting that to the internet world too. I figure hopefully everyone will start noticing eventually anyways. ;) lol

In December I started swimming laps in the morning with Mom (we still do it :)) and this week I started walking for an hour in the evenings with a buddy from work. And today I started changing my eating habits. Woohoo. I had some really good fish for dinner too!

Anyways, God's been bringing this up for a long time and I've kind of been pushing it away. You know, denial. Or not wanting to deal with something hard.

My goal isn't to look like Keira Knightly, believe me, lol. But my goal is to get to a point where I can say, "Yay! I feel good about myself and I feel healthy." So my friends, this is not the end of ice cream, but the beginning of frozen yogurt, shall we say.

Oh and the peeing thing... I drank a lot of water today. That'll do it to ya!

To Break The Sad Seriousness...

2009-02-24T21:28:00.000-08:00

Would you shave your head if a family member asked you to because they had cancer?
I don't think they would. And I don't think I would either. :P

What would you do if the doctor told you that you were pregnant?
Tell him/her that they're wrong.

Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize?
No. I think they rarely do.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
I would say so.

Are you wasting your time on someone?
On someone? No.

Explain the last time you threw up:
Well it was yesterday, I was sick. And very thankful that I have not thrown up today. :D

Last thing that made you cry:
A mix of Goo Goo Dolls and Sarah.

Do you have a bad temper?
No. Unless you're really wrong.

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
Let's see, by 32? Probably. Who knows though. Maybe I'll be the old lady with cats. ;)

How many funerals have you been to in your lifetime?
One I think. Oh maybe more...

How often do you think about suicide?
Never. No matter how bad things get. That's never even been an option for me.

What is your deepest fear?
To be alone.

Do you REALLY love all your family?
I suppose I do.

What do you want to believe in?
Fairy Godmothers. :)

Do you have a secret crush on someone?
Ha. No.

Are you proud of who you are?
Sure. I've done nothing to be ashamed of. :)

Do you feel alone even in crowded rooms?
No. I'm good at working the crowd. ;)

What is the worst thing a person could do to you and still be forgiven?
Hard one. Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean you trust them or even that you should...

You're dying in 10 seconds, what are your last words to your best friend?
"I love you." Probably.

...to your worst enemy?
lol... "bye!"

Do you care if people hate you?
I know there are people who don't like me... but they are people who don't really know me. Work acquaintances and such. And I don't care what they think.

Freedom or safety?
Safety... though when it comes to American government they can't keep you safe so bug out of my money and business and give me freedom. ;)

Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names:
You are the stupidest person I know. Hands down.

Has a song ever made you cry?
Yes.

Go ahead.... repost. You know you want to. ;)

Rest In Jesus

2009-02-23T16:50:00.000-08:00

So something I've learned lately...

Lots of times in our hurt over someone's choices and life we allow their sin to have the same destructive power in our life as it has in their life. It consumes our thinking. It consumes our prayer life. We are constantly sad. It's all we talk about. It's killing us just like it's going to kill them.

It's Satan's plan.

He uses our love for people in our life to bring us down and distract us.

The exact opposite of what we should do. Yes, people's choices will make us sad. Yes, we can see that their future is only going to lead to heartbreak.

But our future doesn't have to go there with them.

Rest in Jesus. Give him your concerns. And then continue on with what he has for you in life. Dream. Live. Enjoy.

Don't give the enemy power over you. Or you will be destroyed also. And then what good is that for the kingdom of God?

Be Still My Soul

2009-02-17T17:08:00.000-08:00

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

I don't usually get sad and personal. But someone near and dear to me is making a very dire mistake. I'm worried and sad for them. I can already see the future and it is not good. Though this hymn is continually in my mind and heart. Please pray for me and my family.

A Message To All The Young Men Out There

2009-02-10T18:12:00.000-08:00

So tonight I went to Panera Bread with my new mentor and my friend Brittany. I love Panera Bread. Yummy place. And I love the two of them. We were having a lovely time when this happened...

Three moderately good looking guys come in and order their food and sit near us. Then I notice that they are obviously turning around to look at us and talking/laughing/etc. Obviously talking about us.

It gets worse. I overhear them. They are talking about which of us they think is hott! And which is not and why they are not... And who they'd like to "do" and how they'd like to "do it". Hello? Who does that?

So here is my message to all the young men...

Women, we, I are/am NOT a product! I am not something to be used and then discarded. Something that needs to meet your expectations or even your needs. I am not a thing at all. I am a person! A person created with loving care by God and given a calling to change the world.

So bug off! Critique yourself. Cuz I don't give a rip what you think of me.

:)

Thoughts On Isaiah 33

2009-02-06T18:05:00.000-08:00

I have come to the conclusion that every single person who drives on 95 is an idiot. Every single one. Getting on it, getting off it, and driving on it. It's like you must become an idiot in order to drive on 95.

Anyways... now that that is out of the way.

Today I was reading Isaiah 33 and found some pretty cool stuff!

Who of us can dwell with the consuming fire?
Who of us can dwell with everlasting burning?

He who walks righteously
and speaks what is right,
who rejects gain from extortion
and keeps his hand from accepting bribes,
who stops his ears against plots of murder
and shuts his eyes against contemplating evil

this is the man who will dwell on the heights,
whose refuge will be the mountain fortress.
His bread will be supplied,
and water will not fail him.

So I've concluded some things from this. If we want to really dwell with God and feel his real presence in our lives we must do 5 things!

Number 1: "He who walks righteously" Righteous means "acting in an upright, moral way; virtuous".

Number 2: "Speaks what is right" That one is hard to do! I kind of want to use a scripture to define this one... Colossians 4:5-6 'Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.'

Number 3: "Rejects gain from extortion and keeps his hands from accepting bribes" Americans are so down with using people! But someone who walks with God loves people and gives to them. He will think of others as more important than himself.

Number 4: "Who stops his ears from plots of murder" Matthew 5:21-22 (Jesus talking) "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell." The application for us today in the 21st Century is that we need to stop talking bad about people! Gossip my friends, needs to go.

Number 5: "Shuts his eyes against contemplating evil" Evil comes so naturally to us. We want people to have what they deserve and get what we don't deserve. And we'll do anything to accomplish that. Hurt anyone to accomplish that. It's just evil. Selfishness is evil. Selfishness and pride are at the root of most everything. I've done it and been a victim. It hurts and it kills. We must not even contemplate evil as Isaiah 33 says.

Then, the passage ends so beautifully with this...

Your eyes will see the king in his beauty
and view a land that stretches afar.

There the LORD will be our Mighty One.
It will be like a place of broad rivers and streams.

For the LORD is our judge,
the LORD is our lawgiver,
the LORD is our king;
it is he who will save us.

Chew Up Your Social Security Number Now!

2009-01-31T12:52:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here in my room reading People and I see Sarah chewing something on the floor.

So I ask her, "What are you chewing?"

And she says, "My social security number."

She ripped off the portion of her pay stubs that has her social security number on it and now is chewing those pieces up so that, apparently, that way nobody can read it and know what it is. ;)

The Switchfoot concert was amazing by the way. Jon Foreman shared a lot of neat things. Usually, Switchfoot is pretty vague about things and never out and out shares about Jesus. It was awesome though because when they were playing "Meant to Live" the whole audience was singing along and when it got to the line, "We want more than this world has to offer" Jon stopped singing and it was impacting to hear this crowd singing that line and not even realizing that that was the cry of their hearts.

Then, Jon came out and sang one of his songs and it was so awesome and you could just tell that he really loves the Lord.

Anyways, you should really check out that song! It's called "Your Love is Strong". You can hear it here.

:)

In other news, I got a new fish. This one is hardier I think. Haha.

Pooped On The Potty!

2009-01-19T17:09:00.000-08:00

Today Max told me he had to go potty and then went and proceeded to poop on the potty. I know you all probably think this is gross but I see this as an amazing miracle that I want to document and share with you all. I can't even tell you the limitless amount of times that I have changed his clothes after he's pooped in his underwear. Being a mother to one two-year-old is going to be a breeze for me. :P I changed the clothing of children who pottied in their underwear 5 times today. :)

I bet you never thought that was all part of being preschool teacher. ;)

Flashcards That Stop Screaming

2009-01-14T19:35:00.001-08:00

So there is this screaming child in one of my classes. I love her dearly, she is very cute and really smart. But she screams.... all the time.

The behavioral specialist came to my class and told me that her problem is she doesn't know how to distinguish between "good" attention and "bad" attention. She'll just take what she can get. Um, duh. Tell me something I didn't know!

So... this "specialist" game me these flash cards, complete with pictures. They say "We don't scream", "Screaming hurts our ears", "Close your lips", "You may read a book or hold a stuffed animal". Okay... so I'm listening and thinking "this girl just needs her parents to give her a good spanking!"

Today every time she started to scream I brought out the flashcards (and felt like a fool) and my friends, they work. I don't know how they work, but they work. The child psychologists have outsmarted me... at least this time. ;) I'm still kind of waiting for her to get used to this whole thing and ignore me and keep screaming but I guess we'll see. :P

In other news, I'm going to a Swithfoot concert with my mother in the near future. (though kind of a little sad I have no friends to go with :P) Woopee! Exciting. :)

Walking On Water

2009-01-11T11:40:00.000-08:00

I woke up today with the song "Storm" in my head...

Some lyrics from "Storm" by Lifehouse

if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I'd see you
this darkness would turn to light

and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
i know everything will be alright
i know everything will be alright

So then I read the passage in Matthew about Jesus and Peter walking on water. And I started thinking about my own storm.

I feel like it all started back when things were falling apart in Hockinson and I had to leave everything I ever cared about almost two years ago and it's never let up. My spirit is tired of fighting all the waves. But I also feel like God is asking, "Will you walk on the water with me?" He's asking that I would have enough faith that in the midst of the raging storm I could step out of my place of "safety" (like the boat was for Peter) and experience his miracles. Because God is still working even when times are hard.

He knows that even in the midst of his miracle we could begin to lose faith and so there he is to grab my hand and give me the support I need. Like he did Peter when he started to sink because he was thinking more about the storm then remembering who he was with.

One thing to always remember right now is.. to be.. joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer. (Romans 12:12)

New Years at the Movie Theater

2009-01-01T09:57:00.000-08:00

So Sarah and I rang in the New Year last night at the movie theater watching "Marley and Me". It ended at 12:17 so I'm pretty sure everyone was crying their eyes out when it was 12:00. Seeing as how incredibly sad it is at the end. :( Good movie though. Go see it. :) Bring your tissues. It made me miss my puppy.

And.... you can see what it looks like where I live! Cuz most of the movie takes place in South Florida and that is what it looks like here. Except I hate dog beaches. I avoid them because people let their snotty dirty little (sometimes big!) dogs run around and steal your food. :( Luckily my new beach is dog free. :D

My car is now registered in Florida. So I have a cool little license plate with oranges on it. Now I have new numbers to memorize and my old one was so easy! :P

I'm getting the overseas itch. I think I've been in America too long. Hmmm.... we'll see what we can do about that...

Random Things Heard On The Radio

2008-12-18T16:22:00.000-08:00

So Sarah already wrote a blog about this, but we have different readers. :P

We were listening to 95.5 on the radio the other day on the way to work. (For you Portlanders, that's like the equivalent of Z100.) So pretty secular, actually totally secular.

They were discussing this noise that happened in the ocean that no one knows what it is. It was so loud apparently that two different microphones 3,000 miles apart picked up the same noise. So they were discussing what it could possibly be and joking about how it was probably a whale fart or some such thing. Then they started talking about the amazing things in the ocean... and the amazing things in space. And how the earth and the sun have to be in exact certain places in order for there to be life. And how does the moon stay up? Where does gravity come from?

Then! One of them said that this was all why people think there is a creator because if you took all the pieces of a watch and threw them in a box and shook them up and then expected a watch to "make itself" that would be like what it would take for life to just "make itself."

Mind you, this convo went on for a good 20 minutes or so.

And then there was this pause.... and they started talking about other animals farting. :P

I'm sure a producer knocked on the glass and told them to change the subject. Haha.

Wouldn't want someone talking about God in a good convincing way on the secular radio now would we? :P

The Fish Probably Named Spike

2008-12-07T11:13:00.000-08:00

Today I went to the early morning service at church. It's supposed to be "traditional". But it was more beautiful than anything else. I haven't heard good organ playing in a long time. :)

I bought a fish yesterday. Still haven't come up with a name though... I'm thinking about "Spike". What'dya think? "Maybe Spike" seems kind of lonely though. He just sits at the bottom of his tank and breaths. I picked him out cuz he was all spunky at the store! Poor Spike... :(

Sarah and I both got a Nintendo DS on Black Friday. A little of an impulse buy but there was a little planning involved. It's totally super fun though! Haha. I figure if Jordin Sparks can have one we can too. :)

Waiting

2008-11-28T18:54:00.000-08:00

So recently I've had two songs in my head. Crush, by Mr. Archuleta, and I Will Sing Of My Redeemer. Don't think they have a whole lot to do with each other, but eh.

I'm really questioning everything I know right now. Not my faith in God, but my faith in people. Why does God ask us to do something that seems so impossible? Can we really love? We can't blindly love... that only leads to, well, not something good. So how do we do it right? I don't suppose anyone has come up with a good answer.

For now, I suppose, I'll just have to wait. Even if it's hard.

Political Questions

2008-11-23T09:19:00.000-08:00

Questions for those who read my blog...

Have you noticed that gas prices are going down? (Like 5 cents a day here!)

Who is the president while gas prices are going down? (The new one doesn't get inaugurated until January 20th.)

That is right my fellow Americans. Gas prices are going down while George W. Bush is president. BECAUSE the president does not control the economy. Nor can he fix it.

And did you also notice how Mr. "I'm Gonna Bring Change" Obama is bringing in almost the same cabinet as our "Great" Mr. Clinton had? Great change eh? We already know what those people can do.

Blah.

Saturday Night Movies

2008-11-22T20:04:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to write. Life is weird these days.

I went and saw Bolt tonight by myself. Don't let it fool you by it's "cartoonness", it's not just a kids movie. It was really good. :) (Well this does come from the woman that likes to watch Hannah Montana.) I laughed a lot. In fact I think there were only two children in the whole theater. Haha. I think Saturday night is going to be my movie night. I really like Downtown Gardens. (Where the movie theater is.) And the Starbucks is open until 11:30. Have you ever heard of such a thing? :-O Last Saturday I saw Madagascar 2, don't waste your money people. Go see Bolt twice instead. :-P And the Saturday before that I saw The Secret Life of Bees, that one is good too.

I'm reading some really amazing and funny stuff in Blue Like Jazz...

Recent Happenings

2008-11-14T19:46:00.001-08:00

So I started reading Blue Like Jazz recently. I started reading Searching For God Knows What a while ago but then Sarah stole the book from me and hasn't given it back yet. So I figured I'd start with the first one. It's weird. This reading thing. I haven't read in a while. Haha. Now I have free time. :) I think I like this Donald Miller guy. Actually I believe I've already written a blog about him before so I won't write another one devoted to him again I guess. Don't want to sound like a creepy fan. ;)

I spent the past weekend at Disney World with the Williams. It's weird to think I can spend the weekend at Disney World now. And since Brittanie works there I got in for free so that was super nice. :) We went to the Animal Kingdom and I've never been there but I think my favorite part was the Anteater and they didn't really let me look at it for very long but it's a very interesting animal! :)

Tonight I watched Babe with Gramma. It's probably like my all time favorite movie. Laugh if you want, I don't love it cuz it's popular. I love it because here's this pig and everyone tells him that basically he's worthless but he doesn't believe it. And neither does the farmer. So the pig who knows he can change his destiny and the farmer who believes in him go on to show the world that a pig can have worth and do all he wants to do. Which in all reality is ridiculous but! I think we could learn a thing or two from Babe. :) Believe in yourself and believe in each other.... and wow the world. :)

At Bible study on Thursday night we were studying Ephesians 5 but nobody could really get passed "not even a hint of sexual immorality." Haha. So basically we talked about sex the rest of the night which made the squeemish people ancy but I'm always up for a good healthy God honoring discussion about sex, as all who know me know and so yes, I stated a few opinions. I kind of wish Dean Sherman was there himself because he always says things in this marvelous way that amaze you, make you feel like you're an idiot, and give you hope that you could actually change your life and walk in purity all at the same time. Read his book on relationships people. It will change your life. I recently gave the book to a coworker of mine to read and she says the same thing, "It changed my life." :)

I think I'll end this blog for now. I'm almost all the way through season 7 of Smallville so I'm gonna go watch another episode. Yay!

Max, Obama, and the Library

2008-11-05T15:11:00.001-08:00

So there's this kid in one of my classes, he's two, curly blond hair, very cute smile. He was sitting in my lap and being lazy with his talking trying to tell me about something. I couldn't understand a word. So I said, "Max, use your big boy words and try again to tell me what you're trying to say." He thought for a moment, held my face in hands, and then kissed me. Haha. "Big boy" words, eh? ;)

I voted yesterday. Woohoo. Not that it mattered. Obama still won. Which is sad really. I think too many people don't pay attention in their history and civic classes to recognize that most of what he says he's going to do not only can he not do, but it's unconstitutional. But Americans are lazy and I guess the majority wants a socialistic government that does all the work for them. And they don't even know what they're getting themselves into. Read people, read. I promise you, the president of the United States cannot fix the world's economy. :)

I'm at the library because the internet at home isn't working and I have to upload pictures for mi padre. I think I like the library. It's weirdly quiet and nobody is interrupting me. It's kind of nice. :)

True Love Conquers All

2008-11-01T09:49:00.000-07:00

"True love conquers all."

~ Sleeping Beauty

I've always been a firm believer that it's easy to turn most fairy tales and Disney movies into a presentation of the gospel. Especially Sleeping Beauty. Probably one of the reasons it is my favorite. And it is true. True love conquers all, even death. Because of his love for the princess the prince risks his own life fighting the dragon and true loves kiss is what breaks the spell.

What the enemy intended to use to bring death and heartache was used to unveil a beautiful story that has been told for generations.

Sound familiar? :)

The enemy has sought to destroy each and every one of our lives. And then God will unveil instead a beautiful love story and that is what will be remembered for eternity. Not the heartache.

It's hard though, especially for me, when you're smack dab in the middle of the hard stuff. When it's forced upon you or when you have to stand by and watch someone you love embrace the things that will only lead to death instead of following the light. There's not much you can do.

Except, remind yourself that this is not the end of the story. In the real story of Sleeping Beauty it's one hundred years after the spell is cast before the prince comes. So even though we don't see change and beauty right away doesn't mean it isn't coming. Don't give up hope. The prince will always come.

The Unbiased Two-Year-Old

2008-10-29T17:50:00.000-07:00

"Miss Mana?"

"Yes, dear?"

"You're cute." Accompanied with one of those two-year-old smiles.

I found out today that my Alex is moving to New Orleans. :( His dad got a new job. Sad times. Guess I'll have to find a new fan. I shall miss him!

I bought candles the other day and they smell delicious but I think I might be allergic to them because they make my eyes all irritated. :( More sad times.

You know the thing I love about two-year-olds and spending all day with them is that unlike the rest of the world, the two-year-old does not judge you based on your outward appearance. It's like it doesn't even matter to them. You never hear a two-year-old comparing people or mentioning that someone is "fat" or "skinny" or "ugly". The people they like the best are the people that speak kindly to them, give them lots of affection, and don't let them get away with bad behavior. It's like the two-year-old can see you for who you really are while everyone else judges you according to what they can see. You go home every night feeling good about yourself. Haha. I'm learning more and more why Jesus said, "The Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these." :)

A Little Soap Box-y

2008-10-21T19:19:00.001-07:00

So I haven't been sleeping well lately. I can't fall asleep until after midnight and then I wake up a few hours later unable to sleep anymore. But my body is so tired that I don't really want to get up plus I can't turn on any lights because it would wake everyone else up. So I just lay there and stare into the darkness. Exciting times, eh? :P

I found out today that since I live with my grandmother I can say I'm her dependent, claim her residency, and start more college like, tomorrow, if I wanted to. And the state of Florida will pay for it all as long as I'm still working at a child care center and as long as I'm pursuing an early education degree. And also thanks to the democrats, I found out that if after 6 months of working at the center I'm not being paid $14 an hour I can apply for supplemental wages and it's guaranteed that the government will also pay the difference. Interesting communistic times we live in my friends. ;) Whatever happened to capitalism? Oh well, so far the way things are is benefiting my no-college, no rich family, sorry little ass. :P

I've been trying to read what Oswald has to say every day (My Utmost For His Highest) and sometimes I do really well but I skip days too. The other day though I read something cool.

First, For those who also have not had much college, or didn't pay attention in highschool...

Propitiation - The act of atoning for sin or wrongdoing.

"The missionary's message is the limitless importance of Jesus Christ as the propitiation for our sins, and a missionary is someone who is immersed in the truth of that revelation."
~Oswald Chambers

No matter their location I feel like adding. I think that's a big lesson I'm learning. My "feelings" of closeness to God or my "feelings" of accomplishment don't need to be based on location. It doesn't matter if I'm in India ministering to street children or in Florida ministering to preschoolers. (Which I'll probably be doing a lot of both in my lifetime.) My message, my standing, my heart are all the same. Jesus saved me and he can save you.

Later he says... "It's easier to belong to a faction that simply tells what Jesus Christ has done for me..."

It's easier to go to church then to be the church! To check off our list that we did our Godly thing that makes us feel better. Well, it doesn't cut it. Meeting with likeminded people so you can talk about how God makes you feel good is not accomplishing the great commission.

I'm not saying we all need to pack up our bags and head to China, though I think there's definitely more people that need to do that then that are, but! every action we do should be motivated by love. A love for God and a love for our world around us.

Yes, we worship God because he saved and we loved him for that. But that's not all it means to be saved, to be a Christian, to be a missionary. (And we're all called to be missionaries) We must be someone that is "truly immersed in the truth of the revelation that our only important message is the limitless importance of Jesus Christ as the propitiation for our sin."

Who Needs A Title?

2008-10-14T19:22:00.000-07:00

Alex (one of our 2-year-olds) kissed me today. It was sweet. Haha. He refuses to kiss anybody because he says it's gross. Today he was sitting in my lap laughing about something and then he just up and kissed me on the cheek. His mom says I'm all he talks about at home. ;) I think I have a fan. :)

This weekend I went to the beach and it was gorgeous. Just warm enough and the water was warm too. So here I am swimming in the Atlantic and I'm remembering how everyone up north is sitting in their sweaters right now and I laughed to myself. :P Well, pretty soon I won't be going to the beach all by myself because mi padres are coming in December. Yay. :D

I've also discovered that I love the slushie. There's a 7 Eleven right near our house and so whenever I get a craving they're easy to get and they are so good! :) I only ever get the Cherry flavor though. I suppose I'm not brave enough to try something new.

Anyways... on to sleeping. :)

Ode To Ophelia

2008-10-07T19:25:00.000-07:00

Ophelia

December 2006 - October 2008

You know I just realized that Ophy never even got to her second birthday. I remember the day that I brought her home, only the day after I met her. I went to the pet store with my brother one day and made friends with this cute little hamster and the next day I brought her home. And you know, throughout the almost two years she was my only constant. Everything in my life changed but the nicest little hamster I ever knew was still there. I know I'm supposed to be all mature (;)) but I remember nights when I'd be crying about all the different hard things that have happended in the recent past and I'd just sit there and hold her and pet her head and she'd sit still (which is odd for a hamster) like she knew that I just needed some quiet company. Poor Ophelia. I didn't bring her to Florida with me because I knew she wouldn't survive the car ride in my vehicle with no air conditioning so my parents were gonna bring her later, but she didn't make it. Mom says that a few nights ago she saw her in her cage just sighing and breathing hard. So Mom (who also fell in love with her) wrapped her up in a towel and just held her until midnight or so and when she woke up in the morning Ophy was gone. :(

So I'm sad that I lost my little friend. And I know that animals are "not supposed to go to heaven" but as Miss Alice from Christy says (and she is a very wise lady as we all know), "No eye has seen and no ear has heard and no mind can conceive the good things God has in store in heaven for those who love him."

So I reckon that Ophy (being the very good hamster that she was and seeing as she had no free will she was forced to recognize there was a God) is waiting for me. Cept next time I won't be crying about hard stuff in life.

Ah, for the sappy blogs.

Piercings, Blood, and Money

2008-10-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

It was raining ridiculously hard yesterday and never stopped. Sarah and I decided to go to the mall since the beach or anything else outside wasn't really an option. If you've never been to the Palm Beach Gardens Mall it's quite the experience. Haha. And on rainy days the ceiling leaks. So much for trying to be an "uppity" place. Well, it was raining and I was bored so I decided to get my cartilage pierced. Sarah got more holes in her ears too. I had to buy two earrings though so I just got two holes in my cartilage. One upper, and one lower. For those of you who know piercing talk. ;) When we got to the mall it was pouring down rain, like a shower people. So we decided we'd wait it out for a while, but fifteen minutes later nothing had changed and so we decided to make a run for it. By the time we got to the mall entrance it looked like we had taken a shower. I was dripping with rain. At least it's warm water. :)

On Friday I gave blood for the first time. In times past they wouldn't let me because I'd been out of the country. For some reason these people didn't care. Haha. Now there's a bruise around where I got poked... wonder what that means? Hmmmm. I'm surprised how wimpy some people are about giving blood. Though it is a little odd to watch your blood run through tubes while a big ol' needle is stuck in your arm, but it doesn't hurt much! And they told me I saved three lives. Woohoo. Plus they gave me juice and cookies and I got to take an hour off of work. How cool is that? :D I also found out that I have really good blood pressure and I broke the record of the fastest time to fill a bag with blood. Took me less then 5 minutes. :D Not that I really did anything other then sit there and listen to the women gossip about people in their lives.

So as far as news goes I've decided that I want Wells Fargo to buy Wachovia, not Citigroup. Because I love Wells Fargo and if they buy Wachovia then I can still keep my Wells Fargo account and that would make me very happy. :) Wachovia drives me crazy. I don't understand how they got rated "#1" in customer service because at least in their dealings with me, they suck. But as I mentioned before, I love Wells Fargo. :) Now who woulda guessed that I read that part of the newspaper? :P I have a lot more free time these days! :)

I think I'm gonna head out to the beach now. Because unlike yesterday, today, the sun is out. :)

Politics

2008-09-26T19:02:00.000-07:00

It's always interesting when you hear a conversation about yourself. You learn all sorts of things you didn't know. Like what people think your motives really are. And what your coworkers really think of you. They're just nice to my face for pretend I guess. They never did figure out that I was listening in either. How can they really think they know someone after only four weeks of just working at the same place as them? We've never even had a conversation. Oh well. Politics. Blah.

And then, today I got the latest Christianity Today in the mail. Once again, all about Obama and McCain. Which it really doesn't matter since I'm registered as a Republican I can't vote for Obama even if I wanted to. Hmmm... so I'm tired of reading about them both because I don't really have a choice anyways. Though it did further my dislike for James Dobson. What rudeness. I don't care how much he thinks that Obama isn't a good candidate for the presidency he has no right to say such awful things about a person that God created and loves just as much as you Mr. Dobson. Sometimes I think I want to write that man a letter. Psh. Politics.

And tomorrow I have to get up butt early to go the college and take exams again. On a Saturday. :( And then maybe I'll go to the beach since I don't have any friends or anything else to do. Or read more of the Christianity Today all about Obama and McCain.

Psh.

Politics.

A Story

2008-09-21T11:52:00.000-07:00

At one time, many moons ago, I lived in a small apartment in the land of Minnesota with four other women and took theology and missions classes every day.

I haven't really thought about that world since I left it until Friday when one of my old room mates came to visit me. She lives in Florida too and just recently graduated from the three year program at Bethany College of Missions where I attended for a year.

We had dinner on Friday night at Wendy's because I didn't know where any restaurants are because I never go out to eat and I just moved here. Haha. And then on Saturday we went shopping at Ross. Woohoo.

But talking with her made me remember how much I miss the missions world. Because it is a different world. And maybe someday I'll go back there. But I don't think I'm ready right now. And I'm unsure of where I would go. Hmmm... something to think about.

Useless Words

2008-09-18T19:31:00.000-07:00

I've decided words are pretty much useless. They suck for communicating.

The saying is true, Actions speak louder then words.

My favorite time of the day/place is the beach at dusk. And it's so short. It only lasts about thirty minutes... The colors and the feelings communicate so much. Word free! :) How cool is that?

Random News :)

2008-09-17T18:52:00.001-07:00

So today I was rushing out the door to go to work... (Hey it's Wednesday! I lose my momentum after Tuesday. :P) and then I realize I can't find my keys.

I locked them in the car.

Sheesh.

Lucky for me, my Russian neighbor, Paul, has some experience breaking into cars and he got my keys for me. :)

I'm so happy today because my lovely friend Tiffany, a room mate in college, is coming to visit me this weekend. :) Yay.

Y'know I hate work politics. And they're everywhere. No matter where you work. People, whether they are Christian or not, just suck sometimes, y'know? :P I think that's why God invented the weekend. We all need a break from each other sometimes. :)

As always though, I love my kids. Mucho mucho. I'm very thankful that I have this opportunity to be involved in their lives. It does make me think twice about becoming a mother though. ;) Haha. At least not to eleven two-year-olds. :D

So I started reading "The Shack". Read it people. I haven't made it all the way through yet but so far, so really good! And this comes from a woman who hasn't read a book in a long time. I'm sure I'll quote it at some point. :)

In other news, the night was beautiful tonight. The breeze was a little cool. I walked through the marina to Seven Eleven so I could get a Slurpee. :) It would of been a good beach night. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

Hugging and X-Files

2008-09-11T19:14:00.000-07:00

So two people hugged me tonight. I think that's a good sign. :) Usually the hugs don't start in for a while. And it's only my second week! :-O

One of the teachers today asked me what I did for fun and I'm like, "Watch the X-Files." Haha. It's sad really. In two weeks Sarah and I have almost watched two seasons. ;) I just don't know anybody yet or have anywhere to go! I want to go to the beach on Saturday though. Another activity I do all on my own. Sadness really... but good all at the same time. :) I'm glad I'm here.

Tomorrow is Friday. Yipee! :) But I have my first exam on Saturday. Pray it goes well!

Me = A Bunch of Blue Dots

2008-09-08T18:20:00.000-07:00

Ringworm - any of a number of contagious skin diseases caused by certain parasitic fungi and characterized by the formation of ring-shaped eruptive patches.

So one of my two-year-olds today was telling me how she had ringworm on her arm but she was pretty sure it was gone now. Then she asks me, "Will you kiss it?" "No." I said. :P

Caleb drew a picture of me in art today. Doesn't really look like me though so maybe it's expressionist. :D A bunch of blue dots.... wonder what that means? Hmmm...

Blog Cut Short :)

2008-09-04T20:19:00.000-07:00

One of the new men in my life, Caleb, is the cutest. He holds my hand a lot and kisses me and tells me he loves me. And he reminds me of how beautiful I am every couple of hours. And he's two. ;-) He has super cute curly hair and all I have to say is, "Caleb! You're always so good why aren't you listening now?" and he immediately obeys. :P

He asks me to pick him up frequently so he can rest his head on my shoulder and get a hug. Today we were on the playground when he says, "Miss Mana, I want to hold you." So I laughed and I was like, "huh?" And then he commands, "Let me hold you!" I laughed again picked him up. Like I said, he's one of my new favorites.

So I was considering blogging more but Sarah's yelling at me to turn off the puter so she can sleep so I guess I'll have to save it for later. ;-) :D

Love = Holiness

2008-09-02T20:04:00.000-07:00

Ready for an Amanda sermon? :D Oh good... ;)

"Holiness means absolute purity of your walk before God. The words coming from your mouth and every thought in your mind. Placing every detail of your life under the scrutiny of God himself. Holiness is not simply what God gives me, but what God has given me that is being exhibited in my life."

~ Oswald Chambers

Gotta love Oswald.

1 Peter 1
v.15 - Now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy.
v.17 - He will judge and reward you according to what you do.
v.22 - You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth so now you must show sincere love... Love each other deeply with all your heart.

Holiness, is not something that is "part" of being a Christian. It's at the essence. It's something we must partake in if we want to be a child of God. If you love God, you don't walk in sin. It is that simple.

What does it mean to be holy? v. 17 and 22 give us a clue. Yes, our actions prove our holiness. And that is how we will be judged. But it depends on whether our actions were "loving". If we're living a life of love towards our fellow man than we're living a life of holiness.

Love = Always desiring the highest and best.

If we're really loving our fellow man and our actions reflect wanting the highest and best for them and we really love God then we won't be in sin. We will be walking in holiness. Walking in love. :o)

So not too new and profound. Well, maybe a little profound. :)

Homesick?

2008-08-25T18:40:00.000-07:00

So I feel like I'm homesick... but what for? I've lived in two different places this past year and neither can I go back to. Neither do I want to go back to, in all reality. Though there are things that comforted me that I miss.

Like...

It actually being cold enough to sleep with my down comforter. (I still use it, it's just, hot. :P)
Breathing in cold air.
Evergreen trees, lots of them.
Safeway. Especially it's ice cream.
Burgerville.
People who know your past. Well, at least the good stuff. So you don't have to explain every little detail about stuff you say.
The smell. Of my mother, of my old house, of Cubby, of the swimming pool, of Washington, of Discovery Bay, of the Pacific, etc.
All my clothes and other crap. (It's coming, it just won't be here for a while and I miss it. :P)
Having my own room. (This room is small.... and I'm sharing with Sarah.)
Having a big bed. (Hopefully this is the LAST time I will sleep in a twin bed. When I get my own condo/apartment the first thing I'm doing is buying a big bed. All other furniture can wait. :P)

Then there's things I lost a long time ago that I still miss and I notice them more now that I'm on the other side of the country...

Having a community... a church family. (I HATE trying to push my way into a new church. HATE HATE it. Why can't people just be friendly and want to know me? :S)
Highschool. Haha. Yeah. Call me stupid. Whatever. :P

And I do miss YWAM and Discovery Bay and I had to separate myself for "irreconcilable differences" or whatever and that makes me sad. But I know God has his plans and reasons.

All this came into blog form because I was trying to fill out my profile on Facebook, haha, and trying to think what to put for my "hometown". There's a spot for your "current location" which is easy. But my "hometown"? I don't have one of those anymore. And it wouldn't let me put that. Psh. Stupid.

It reminds me though of a Bebo Norman song...

Some say home is where the heart is
My heart is in your hands
You are all I need

So I want to be content in Jesus. But I also want to have a place where I belong. And hopefully it'll start to feel like that in Florida soon. And there will be things that I'm fond of here. I know I just have to give it time.

It's just a good reminder that crap happens y'know, and we move and change and leave, but God is always in control (as Twila Paris is always so good to remind us) and we just make choices best we can and go with his flow. Dreams die. Sometimes we're ready for it and sometimes it smacks us in the face and almost kills part of us. It's hard for me to let go. But I guess it's time.

So for those who read this far please pray for me that I can. Let go of the things I miss in the past and grasp hold of the hand that's leading me into the future. We all know in the end "all things work for the good of those who love him."

Until next time,
Mana (Hmmm... it'll be a while before my new friends will know that name. :))

The "Some" Details Blog

2008-08-15T19:35:00.000-07:00

“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child."

~ Forest E. Witcraft

So today is Friday. The first Friday of my job. It was a teacher's work day. I learned about how to set up my 401(k). I helped teachers set up their classrooms and heard horror stories about how I'd be changing millions of diapers. :P

It's okay though. I think I'm going to like this job. I like how it's at a church, I like how the people all want to take care of me and help me because I'm young person who just moved across the country, and I totally like that my job is close to the beach. And year round, we can take the kids outside and it will be warm. ;)

I will have full benefits. SEEK is going to pay for my college education so that I can become a real preschool teacher. I'm learning about how to prepare for retirement. I have a full time job. In the near future I'll have my own place. I just got my own car insurance. Sheesh. It's almost like I'm a full fledged grown up. :P

Tomorrow I'm going to go tan at the beach because it's Saturday... woohoo! And I'll probably swim in the ocean and collect shells and maybe even build a sandcastle! And this isn't vacation!!! Haha. This is where I live. How cool is that?! :o)

Lessons Learned Driving Across America

2008-08-10T18:51:00.000-07:00

Things I learned while road tripping across the country...

1. Eastern Oregon is boring.
2. Idaho is super hot.
3. Utah is pretty.
4. Wyoming... I actually don't know much about, I slept through Wyoming. Though a few years ago I climbed a mountain in Wyoming.. there's a story for ya.
5. If you're gonna have your car break down, Nebraska is a good place for it to happen, the people are super friendly and they help you for free. :D
6. The International House of Prayer is just as cool as everyone makes it out to be.
7. Motel 6 is gross!
8. People in the South really ARE super friendly and chatty.
9. Nashville is a pretty city.
10. Elizabethtown really exists. I saw the sign.
11. At 2 AM traffic in Atlanta is crazy... and Amanda is the only person going at or under the speed limit.
12. Georgia is really pretty and I kinda wish we could have stopped for a while.
13. The Florida Turnpike is SUPER FREAKING LONG! lol
14. The beater old blue car CAN make it from Washington to Florida in 3 days! :D Haha.

Tomorrow I start my new job at the preschool. I'll letcha know how it goes.

Moving

2008-08-05T22:29:00.000-07:00

I'm moving to Florida. We leave Thursday. I start my new job on Monday.

Details blog to follow later... :o)

Outreach Thoughts

2008-08-03T12:02:00.000-07:00

So this past week I spent on outreach. It always makes me sad when it comes to the end of the trip and we have to go back and face "real life" again. Sometimes I wish money didn't exist and those things didn't matter...

We spent our time in Seattle working with the Union Gospel Mission which was a lot of fun. We'd play with the kids at their different locations in the morning and then serve people dinner at night. I met a lot of people at different places in their life and I'm sure it all changed my perspective in some way.

We had a scavenger hunt at Pike's Place one day and we all took pictures of the booth from Sleepless in Seattle, which is one of my favorite movies by the way! We went to Wild Waves on the way home and Sidney and I kept getting stuck in the whirl pools on the slide ride thing. :P

One day we were with the kids and we were playing games with them in stations. And one of the leaders from the "spoon station" needed to go to the bathroom so I stepped in to lead the game for her while she was gone. I asked the kids to line up in two lines, one behind me, and one behind the other girl who was leading the game.

The first girl to get in my line jumped right in front of me and then smiled at me, I asked her what her name was. Esmerelda. She was a beautiful little girl, probably in the 6-8 age range. And then I immediately remembered the statistics. That 2 in every 3 girls are sexually abused by the time they're 18. The percentage of teens in urban areas who get involved with drugs and alcohol. The fact that because she was at this program her mother was most likely staying at a shelter to either deal with her own substance abuse situation or to escape an abusive boyfriend/husband. In my mind, Esmerelda's future didn't look "bright". Then God spoke to my heart and told me that she was my own personal intercession assignment. That I should never forget to pray for protection for her and that she would come into relationship with Jesus.

That whole paragraph took about 5 seconds of real life time but all that information was loaded into my head and then I had to come back out of my thoughts and lead the spoon game and watch as the kids tried to use the spoon in their mouth to dump a cheerio onto someone else's spoon.

That happened before in China... I never found out that little girls name because she didn't speak to us. We went to a village in the Himalayas. I was walking by myself down the path and this little face peak out at me from behind a wall. I tried to make friends with her but she walked away. Total sadness on her face. And then I felt it in my heart, someone was abusing her. And the Lord told me that she was a personal intercession assignment. And he gave me a name for her, Sarah. I found out later that three other women on our team had all felt she was being abused when they saw her also.

Hmmm... I miss everyone already and I miss Seattle. But it was a good week.

Birthday Parties and Seattle

2008-07-22T10:54:00.000-07:00

So last night was Hannah and Rachel's birthday party. I'm not quite as naughty as Sarah so my Victoria's Secret bags for them were not filled with underwear. ;o) Only like the best lip gloss on the whole planet and it just happens to be sold at Victoria's Secret.

We had super lots of fun and then we went and saw Prince Caspian at Kiggin's. It was going to be a Mom and Amanda date but then everybody decided they wanted to come too. You know us Song In The Nighters... we can't do anything alone. :P Haha. Plus it's hard to pass up a $2 movie. Though I do believe the first Narnia movie was better. I'd see it again, anyone wanna go with me? :)

We leave for outreach on Thursday, yay! and instead of Montana we're going to Seattle. I like Seattle. :o) I found out today too in an email that I'm the only one allowed to bring an MP3 player because I'm in charge of choreography. Haha. :P

So I really want to put up my pictures from fishing with Dad on Saturday but the man is in Seattle on business and so I can't. But soon!

Basically this was just an update blog and totally free of opinions, well, minus a few, it's Amanda, what do you expect?! But maybe I'll read the news today and then I'll find something interesting to write about. :)

Something New :)

2008-07-20T17:05:00.000-07:00

So here's a quiz for your viewing pleasure. :)

Who was the last male to hold your hand?
I don't know. Does praying in a group count? Other then that it was probably Luke when he forced me to hold his hand. :P

Who was the last person to text you?
Hannah Clark. She's a texting fiend like me. :)

Would you take any of your ex's back?
Nope.

Did you sing at all today?
Uh nope! Mom tried to get me to sing while we were in the pool though. :P

Do you miss anyone?
I suppose.

Where is the person you have feelings for right now?
Hmmm "have feelings for". They are nowhere. ;)

Have you ever drank with your number one?
When we lived together she didn't drink. ;)

Are you too forgiving?
Not really. Mr. Darcy and I are similiar in that area. ;)

What are you currently doing?
Watching a Law and Order SVU marathon. :)

Have you ever punched a guy?
Only playfully. :)

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Nope.

What were you doing at 9:00 pm last night?
Fishing with my dad. I caught one too!

Have you ever lived on a dirt/gravel road?
Yes.

Ever been swimming in a lake or river?
Um, yes.

Ever done 90 miles per hour down a dirt road?
No. I'm smarter then that. ;)

Are you dating the person you texted last?
Um nope.

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
I think it's funny usually. ;) We never say it to each other seriously. :-D

What's irritating you right now?
That my sister falls in love with millions of boys online. Psh.

Are you listening to music right now?
Nope.

Do you talk to the person you like everyday?
Um, probably not.

How many different houses have you lived in throughout your life?
5? I think.

Next time you will kiss someone?
Probably not for a very long time.

Can you make a dollar in change right now?
Yep.

How many kids do you want to have?
3 probably. :o)

Have you had the chicken pox?
Nope! Surprisingly.

Who knows you the best?
Jesus.

What holiday is closest to your birthday?
Palm Sunday.

What is your name if you spell it without the letters "e" "y" and "t"?
Amanda. :P

Have you had your birthday yet this year?
Yes.

Do you know anybody who plays the banjo?
I do actually. He's cute too. ;)

Where was the last place you went?
Coldwater Lake.

What was the last movie you watched?
When I went to see Wall-E with Hannah and Rachel.

What color are the walls of the room you are in?
Mom says they're "French Castle" but I say they look pink/purple. ;)

How many letters are in your middle name?
Seven.

Is your last name longer than 6 letters long?
The truth is yes Sarah. Unless you got a new last name. :P

Have you ever dyed your hair an unnatural color?
Purple once. I liked it. :)

Does anyone call you baby?
Not on a regular basis.

Regular Cheetos or hot?
Yeah... not really a Cheeto fan.

How's your heart lately?
Just lovely. At rest I think. :)

Favorite fruit?
Strawberries, fresh ones, or watermelon.

Are you scared of spiders?
Depends on the size of the spider.

If someone doesn't like you, its usually because...?
I think what I think and there's no changing my mind.

Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
When it's cold for me too. :)

How long does it take for you to take a shower?
20 minutes when I take my time.

Do you like being around a large group of friends or two best friends?
Groups.

Ever bit someone else’s tongue?
Um no. :)

What is wrong with you right now?
lol nothing. :)

Do you care what others think about you?
Not usually. I'd rather be hated for who I am then loved for who I'm not. :)

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
Yes.

Are you afraid of the dark?
Usually yes.

What are you wearing?
My bathing suit. It's cute. :)

How late did you stay up last night?
We got home about midnight. And then I went to sleep.

What would you do if the opposite sex ever told you they loved you?
Depends on if I loved them back. Whether my reply would be "aww thanks" lol or "I love you too!"

Have you ever lost a best friend?
Yep. Kinda stings when they pick a stupid boy over you. ;) But I'm over it.

What are you afraid of the most?
Sarah you're only 19! You shouldn't be worried about not ever getting married yet. :P I'm most afraid of picking the wrong career.

Last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
Not recently.

Do you get mad when your friends give you constructive criticism?
Only when they're mean about it.

What are you doing tonight?
Going to cook myself something and watch CSI probably.

Describe your life in one word:
Exciting.

What happened at 10:00 am today?
I was sleeping. :)

Exciting Times I Tell Ya

2008-07-15T23:17:00.001-07:00

So we're not going to Montana. Sheesh. For all you future outreach planners out there. Don't tell a team they can come to your mission for a week for a missions trip and then two weeks before cancel for a surprise party. It's just rude people. ;o) Rude and not very Jesus like I'd say!

My summer is continuing to be boring as usual. Today I painted another fence gray. I've almost worked myself out of a job and then we have to hope and pray that someone will buy our house and we can move to Florida! :o)

Y'know for the first time in my life I have no idea at all.... what I want to do with my future. It's like the scariest thing I've ever had to try and deal with. Anybody got any good career ideas for me? :o)

The Cockroach... Indestructible

2008-07-11T14:20:00.001-07:00

So I just wanted to make an observation here.

I went to see Wall-E with Hannah and Rachel the other night... and so, earth is totally unequipped for life however many years in the future it is, but, ONE thing can live and do you know what that is?????

The cockroach. Sick. But probably true. ;) Nothing kills those buggers.

Our neighbors are building a park in their backyard. It's what rich Hockinson people do when they don't know what else to do with their money. But some of the guys making the park for them are nice to look at. ;) Hannah and Rachel were shouting at them yesterday. :P

Anyways... on to painting the porch!

Ode To My Hatred For Boys

2008-07-03T20:50:00.000-07:00

I hate boys.

Let me explain myself.

In and of themselves they are fine and very valuable to society. But I hate them when they decide to be in love with one of my girl friends...

Because then Amanda is friendless... and bored. Blah. And don't suggest I get my own boy so I won't be bored because that doesn't work... they don't like to do the things I want to do. ;) And they suck at going shopping.

I already don't have any friends that live here after last year and then the few I do have are off courting. Psh.

So I've been watching a lot of the Travel Channel lately and I covet Samantha Brown's job. And anyone else whose ever watched the Travel Channel probably does too. I mean the lady gets paid to travel around the world on vacation. How cool is that? :P I also learned today while watching the Travel Channel that the statue of liberty is actually in New Jersey, not in New York, though technically New York "owns" it. Talk about confusing. ;)

I watched a CSI:Miami episode the other day and Jeff Corwin was a guest star. He sucks at that kind of acting. Though I do like watching him on the Animal Planet because he is tons cuter then that other guy... :P

Now I'm just rambling about nothing. Probably because I'm spending another night at home... watching the O.C. or something else I decide to do by myself. :)

The Half Naked Me And The Puppy

2008-06-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

So today I went outside in the wee hours of the morning (like 11ish :P) in my jammie shirt to let the puppy go to the bathroom. And to my horror there were people next door that wanted to talk to me. (Fully dressed none-the-less!) Ah! And they didn't seem to mind that all I was wearing was a big shirt. Except they were asking me questions about the house for sale next door and I'm like, "Uh, I don't live here. I'm only house sitting." Either they were deaf or don't understand English very well because they continued to ask me questions that I didn't know the answers to because I don't live here. :P

Oh well, exciting adventures of house sitting. I think the puppy I'm watching is having withdrawls.... it just randomly pees.... everywhere even though I take it out pretty much every hour to go outside. Oh the joys of puppies!

I think I'm becoming reclusive. But I like it. ;) It will bring about more blogs too. Haha.

The New Poll

2008-06-28T13:56:00.001-07:00

So apparantly most of my readers would prefer to live in Europe. Cool beans. I'm going to visit Europe one of these days. :) We need to get some more voters for these polls. It's just lame that only 20 votes are ever cast. Psh.

So.. new poll.

Is Being Judgemental Wrong?

2008-06-22T14:09:00.001-07:00

So whose totally loving the nice weather? Me! :) Even if I am sunburned. You don't think about putting sunscreen on in Washington. :P

I'm going to Montana next month and I'm excited about that. Even if no one else in my family is coming this year.

This morning I read what Oswald had to say and June 22 is about not passing judgement. But you know what I hate when reading things about judgement is that nobody ever clarifies what judgement is. And so they tell us not to judge... but no one even knows what that is. And people make the really bad mistake of equating judging someone with recognizing their sin. "Well who I am to think they are wrong? I don't want to judge." Let me just set the record straight and let everyone whose reading this blog know that recognizing sin and judging someone is NOT the same thing. Recognizing sin is just a logical conclusion we make when someone's actions are not lining up with what we read in the Bible. We judge someone when we decide what they are worthy of based on their actions. "Sarah does not deserve a cookie because she was mean to me all morning" is a judgemental statement. "Sarah was mean to me this morning" is not. Get the difference?

Everyone is worthy and is not worthy of salvation. We all miss the mark... but we've all been offered the gift because of Jesus. When we refuse grace, mercy, and love to someone because we don't think they deserve it we are judging them in a manner Jesus chooses not to and that is the same manner we shall be judged in turn. Do we make that mark too? Most days we don't.

If we want to be offered unconditional grace, mercy, and love then we must be prepared to offer it to everyone else without question or regret. Freely offer all the wonderful things Jesus has offered you and you will never be accused of being judgemental and most likely more people will offer you unconditional grace, mercy, and love too.

And for Pete's sake... please recognize sin and don't put up with it. Be bold and brave enough and LOVING enough to tell people when they're about to slip into something that is not good for them. Don't ignore and put up with things that break God's heart in the name of "being non-judgemental". Just be nonjudgmental in the way you love people in sin... because there is a difference. :)

The Tan Buff Chick That Is Me :)

2008-06-19T21:13:00.000-07:00

So today I started my new job. And I washed a fence. Well, part of a fence. It was a really long fence. I also walked two miles this morning just for kicks.

I figure if I spend the rest of the summer walking a couple miles for kicks in the morning and working outside doing maintenance projects, which is what I'll be doing, I'm gonna be one buff tan chick by the end of the summer. I'll be all ready for Florida. Woohoo! Bring on the beach.

So I was washing this fence today with this bleach/trisodium phosphate stuff and boy did it smell. The smell reminded me of China though and so I figure they must clean most everything with trisodium phosphate there... which would make sense... it's pretty potent stuff! But it's amazing. I'd spray this stuff on these moldy nasty fence boards and then wash 'em down a bit and all the sudden.. the fence posts are white. Yay! Plus I get to do this with my mother and so that makes it even more fun.

I also weeded the strawberry bushes today and played with Cubby in the water. He's funny in the water.... He's just funny, I love him. :) I'm glad I get to live with animals again.

It Felt A Little Like Summer Today!

2008-06-18T18:23:00.000-07:00

But only a little....

I hung out with Emma, we had Taco Bell, we walked aimlessly around Battle Ground, and it was wonderful.

Tomorrow I start working for my parents. Not the worst bosses in the world I don't think. I believe I'm going to be fence painting. Hmmm....

And in other news, I'm going to Montana next month. Yay. :o) Hannah and Rachel shall be full of joy.

Da News

2008-06-15T19:43:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow me and all my stuff are moving back to Vancouver for a while. And I won't be coming back to YWAM Discovery Bay. All who have questions are welcome to email, message, text, or call me. :o) I love to talk ya know. And I don't really know how to type all the details out.

I'm excited about what's next. I think I'm going to check out the college scene. And another part of the country. This is a good age. Enjoy being young. And if something isn't making you happy don't force yourself to do it forever. Just move on. You'll thank yourself later. :o)

Stronger

2008-06-05T23:50:00.001-07:00

Today I spent time with two of my most beautiful friends. It's really nice to just sit down and have a heart to heart with someone over coffee, y'know? And it's amazing to have the opportunity to step into the heart of someone who loves Jesus. It's refreshing. Even if they're talking about the crap in their life. Because there's always hope. Because we know the one who always bring us through and shows us how to be stronger.

That's how I feel after this week, stronger. And I didn't even do a whole lot. Sometimes that's what it takes, not doing a whole lot. Just being and hearing and receiving.

stronger - capable of withstanding force or wear

What I feel like God and I are going to do will be a little hard. Because I feel like I'm going to dissapoint people. But something I've learned is that when we're motivated by what's making people happy or not happy, we're no longer serving God, we're serving man. And I know I don't want to be serving man. Man does not rescue you and love you and offer unconditional grace. It's time to serve God wholeheartedly. Even if what that means doesn't make sense or sound right to people. Even the people whose opinion means most to me. In the end, God will justify me.

I'm diving into Psalm 37 right now. I think it's going to be quite the journey. Those who care to know and read this will be updated in future blogs. :o)

Shadow of the Day

2008-06-04T13:45:00.000-07:00

This is like my new favorite song.

That is all for now I suppose.

Choices

2008-05-31T11:37:00.000-07:00

So I'm home this week. Praying and thinking. Making decisions.

Life is so big and as an American I guess we have a lot of options.

If only we didn't have to make choices.

Everything we choose can totally alter the course of our life. Where do I want mine to go?

I see shadows outside now. The sun is breaking out. Vitamin D always makes you feel better. :o)

Human Eating Christmas Trees

2008-05-15T21:03:00.000-07:00

Fond memories from Taboo...

Becky, "It's big and green. It has big teeth and eats people."

Sarah, "A Christmas tree!"

Everyone, "What kind of Christmas trees did you have?"

Haha.

So today we found out that my predictions were right. Sarah and Caleb are officially having a boy. I saw his thingy. ;o) We'll get to see all of him in June. :o)

I watched Smallville tonight. Hello, quite the episode. If you didn't watch it you missed out I tell ya.

I don't have any grand things to blog. I think I might go join peeps at the bonfire now. Look at me being all sociable. ;-)

Thoughts on Beauty and the Beast

2008-05-08T17:06:00.000-07:00

So "Beauty and the Beast" officially won the poll at ten votes. "Sleeping Beauty" came in second with four votes. Yippee.

I'm a big fan of "Beauty and the Beast" mostly because it has the best music of any Disney movie but also because they fall in love with each other because of who they are... not just because they're two beautiful people who are destined to be together because there's nobody else beautiful enough in the world to be with either of them. ;o) Isn't that what everyone wants? To be loved for who they are. My wonderful mother taught me from a very young age that no person could ever do that anyways so it was best not to set yourself up for disappointment and just realize that only Jesus can really satisfy your heart and your desire to be loved. She saved me from a lot of dating, falling in and out of love mishaps I think.

We do kind of have a "Western Caste System" as I've dubbed it. In highschool we referred to it as "leagues". "He is so out of my league." Haha. I guess it's hard for young people to realize that everyone gets old and ugly. So it's kind of silly to base who you could be with off of what they look like anyways. But yet we all do it. Because we're all silly I suppose.

Vote on the new poll. Because it's awesome. :o)

Burma & Other News

2008-05-06T15:58:00.000-07:00

Just so you all don’t forget about the rest of the world. You should check out this article about Burma/Myanmar. Here.

When this blog is posted the death toll is up to 22,000.

That’s a whole freaking lot of people.

You can pray that the government will begin to let different aid organizations in to help. Burma is trying to become a communist country and is pretty closed to the rest of the world. While I was in Thailand in February I spent two weeks with refugees from Burma. There are a lot of horrible things going on in that country right now.

If you want to be informed about other things here are a few more links -

Pakistan

Yemen

Somalia

Bangladesh

Sudan

Crazy Rapists & Donald Miller

2008-05-05T11:35:00.000-07:00

Not that crazy rapists or Donald Miller have anything in common with each other. They just both will appear in this blog. Oh happy day.

To start things off I read this article on MSNBC today.

What disturbs me most is the quote given by his attorney on the radio, "'I believe that the trigger was a mental disorder, because I can't imagine that someone has sex with his own daughter without having a mental disorder,' Mayer said."

To me that sounds really scary. Because it seems like you must have to be crazy in order to do something that means you are? Will we begin to end all accountability for crimes committed? Does it mean the perp is mentally unstable every time a rape is committed? Or even a robbery? How about murder? According to the attorney, because he can't imagine it possible for a sane person to do then he must be insane.

Hopefully this doesn't stand up in court and this man is locked up in prison for the rest of his miserable life.

On to a totally different note, but, I read a little bit of "Searching For God Knows What" by Donald Miller the other day. I confess I've never read "Blue Like Jazz" except for one chapter that Jay had us read last DTS during his week here. And I think I have a crush on Donald Miller. ;o)

I'm totally ready for it to start getting warm around here. I don't know if it will though.

Florida is starting to sound nicer and nicer. :o)

"Christian" music?

2008-04-26T21:35:00.000-07:00

Today I went bowling with teenagers. It was fun. I mean sure, my highest score was 42, but hey, I was letting the girls win. ;-) We had good talks in the car too.

While listening to music at the bowling alley a certain song by a group called Paramore played. Instantly the kids shouted to their youth minister, Darren, that this was a Christian song. It was like it would make him happy to know there was a Christian song playing on our youth group outing.

So I started thinking. What makes something a "Christian song"? What makes something "Christian music"? Song's can't be saved... or saved you. You won't be saved or damned depending on what kind of music you listen to.

So what makes Paramore Christian and other bands not? The label? The words? Whether or not the artist is saved? Well then, is Lifehouse a Christian band?

My thoughts led me to believe that it's mearly based on opinion. Whether it's another Christian's opinion, your pastors opinion, your parents opinion, etc. It's someone's opinion.

And since this is my blog I'll share my opinion. :o)

I say we ban using the words "Christian music". Because there really is no such thing. There's music. Some is good and some is not. Some songs are about God and some are not.

And pretty much, if an artist is in love with Jesus, no matter what label he's under... he will write songs that have to do with God, whether he can say God's name or not. Why will we only listen to songs that are explicitely about him? There's many beautiful things in the world.

Do we only look at paintings that were painted by Christians and are pictures of Christian things? No! Because many paintings are just art and are just beautiful for what they are.

Well some music is beautiful even if it's not about God and not written by a Christian. You're missing out when you dismiss it. ;-)

In other news, the man who served me ice cream at Dairy Queen talked to me for a super long time and then asked me for my phone number. I turned him down but it made me feel all pretty. ;-) Or something... I guess it was just the ice cream boy. :-P

"Adult Drama"

2008-04-24T14:22:00.000-07:00

My emotions are being weird. I can't decide if I want to be happy or sad or something else. I think it's because change is happening maybe? I don't deal well with change I guess. I like stability. I suppose I should get used to the fact that the twenty-something life is never stable. And then there's always "adult drama". It brings me down I tell ya.

I'm getting tired of "adult drama."

Let me explain this phenomenon to you. Drama as we all know is when people (usually females) decide to make a way bigger deal out of something then you should and then react in a way bigger way then you should. But there can also be subtle drama. When someone refuses to be completely honest and true because they can't deal with their problem like a grown up. Basically, drama is pretty much just someone who in their immaturity is physically unable to be straight with you.

It becomes "adult drama" when it involves, well, adults, and has to do with things that are a little bit more important then "I wonder if this boy likes me?!" But it's no less irritating! In fact, I think it's more irritating. Because I expect highschoolers to be drama queens. They aren't fully grown up and mature yet so of course they aren't going to handle everything right. But fifty some odd year old ladies?! Come on now! You can deal with things and be straight with me. I promise you I won't bite or swear at you. Well, at least I won't bite. ;-)

I lived through a whole crap load of "adult drama" last year and now I feel like I live in a perpetual world of "adult drama" right now. Does it ever end? I guess you only have to pick up the latest issue of Us Weekly to realize that "adult drama" never ends.

The idea of living on a deserted island all by myself sounds more and more appealing...

Not A Jeremy Camp Fan

2008-04-20T22:12:00.001-07:00

So I'm not a Jeremy Camp fan... like at all. But this song has been really helpful lately. I know it's the cheesy, every line rhymes thing, but it's good "truth". Y'know?

Besides, it's a good summary of the life of Amanda right now...

Would I believe you when you would say

Your hand will guide my every way

Will I receive the words You say

Every moment of every day

Well I will walk by faith

Even when I cannot see

Well because this broken road

Prepares Your will for me

Help me to win my endless fears

You've been so faithful for all my years

With one breath You make me new

Your grace covers all I do

Fruit Salad... Yummy Yummy

2008-04-18T17:33:00.000-07:00

Today I had cucumbers, carrots, cauliflower, and apples for lunch. I feel so healthy. ;-)

So I'm wondering... are people actually wondering if this girl actually got pregnant? It's completely ridiculous. The statistics for getting pregnant artificially should rule out that she could get pregnant even one time in nine months, let alone multiple times. It's still sick and not art, no matter what anyone says. ;-)

This lady is super old... check it out.

Dora The Exlpora

2008-04-16T16:55:00.000-07:00

I feel like my head is going to explode. All of those adults who say they feel bad for highschoolers and are happy they are done being a kid don't know what they are talking about. I'd pretty much do anything to be that age again. There aren't so many choices to make, so many people you might dissapoint. And your parents pay for everything, well, at least they did at my house.

Sounds like I'm kind of "unprogressing" doesn't it?

They mowed my flowers down today.

I figured out how to fix my hair so that I can actually stand it. A straightener is really one of my best friends. It's a good thing my hair grows out quickly. Now maybe I can get through all this without anyone taking any pictures. ;-)

Today I hung out with Elizabeth (she's 2) from seven in the morning until after lunch. At about 7:15 she started bugging me about going over to my house to watch Dora. I held her off until 11:00. The child loves Dora so much that if you turn it on before she sits down she'll just stand through the whole show because she doesn't want to miss any of it. I don't even know if she blinks. :-P Personally, I can barely make it through the beginning song. It has to be THE most annoying show for children ever created, and this comes from a girl who doesn't mind Blue's Clues. So I tried to just read Elle and ignore the repetition of everything in the show. Good thing it's only a half hour long. :) It is kind of nice to get a little break from all the "why?s" that seem to come every three words with a pre-schooler.

I really like my new water bottle. It's purple. And wonderful.

Tulips!

2008-04-14T19:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to see the tulips with my mother in Woodburn, Oregon. They were really pretty and we took lots of good pictures.

Check them out here!

It's back to normalness at Discovery Bay now. It's so cold here though. The downside of living next to the ocean in Washington I guess.

Boys Are Smart Sometimes.

2008-04-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

So yesterday my family went out for dinner and my seventeen-year-old brother said something that felt a little out of character and a little mature. ;-)

"People are mad at each other. But if no one ever talks to anyone, it'll just stay that way, forever. We need to talk to people, not ignore them. Why spend your life avoiding certain people when you could just talk and fix it?"

To which I replied, "So, whose gonna do the talking?"

And he quickly said, "Well, I'm thinking about doing it."

I was surprised. I guess we'll see how this one goes. There are some really hurt people and some deep misunderstandings. I wonder if a seventeen-year-old can put a dent in it. Dean Sherman does say that "Reconciliation is just one step of humility away."

Personally, Amanda's thought is, "Does it really matter anymore?" But I suppose people always do matter, even when I feel like giving up or not trying anymore.

At least I'm glad Jesus never gave up or stopped trying.

Now there's another smart boy.

What I'd Look Like If I Was Famous!

2008-04-11T18:02:00.000-07:00

Wait, so I look like Beyonce and Ronald Reagan? Weirdness...

More wordy blogs to come later.

What Really Makes You A Man?

2008-04-09T17:54:00.000-07:00

Today I had Panda... it was really good. I miss Panda a lot. The next place I live they should have Panda. Does Florida have Panda? You know, the wonderful thing about Panda is that you can have like the best Orange Chicken in the whole world and reasonably good fried noodles in a really clean looking restaurant for a not-so-bad price. Usually I go to Panda with friends which makes it even more fun. If you have never been to Panda and had their Orange Chicken you should go today and try it, or tomorrow at the latest. Because it really is the best Orange Chicken ever.

Well now that I'm done advertising... Sarah and I spent today with Becca and Emma and although it's not exactly as much fun as when we were kids and had huge imaginations and a huge forest to play in, it was still fun nonetheless. We walked aimlessly around Costco and Hollywood video, never buying anything. We ate cookie dough ice cream. We read People magazine and decided that this whole pregnant man business is really not about a man being pregnant. It's a hairy, boobless, WOMAN who is pregnant. And the stupid government calls her a man. (Excuse my language here, but...) I believe a penis is required for being a man. Who cares if you don't have boobs and you're hairy. That does not make you a man. So says Amanda anyways, and all other sensible people.

Here is another story for you to read today. This one makes me sick to my stomach, but I think it's good for us to know the sick things that go on in the world. Ignorance doesn't make the world a better place it just makes you... ignorant. Let your stomach get sick every once in a while, that way maybe someday we can get sick enough that we'll actually do something about the horrible things that go on in the world. Like what the state of Texas has finally decided to do. Thank the Lord all those children who should not be married are now all in foster care. The oppression of women is sad.

So on that note, this woman shall now post this very opinionated blog and look for Law & Order on TV. (Someone's gotta have it on!) You know, that story would probably make a good plot for one of those episodes.

Chick Flicks & Idiots

2008-04-06T13:22:00.000-07:00

Today is rainy and a little depressing. It will make Sarah happy when she gets home.

I ran across this story today while reading MSNBC again. The American Idiot. (My own title.) Is this man seriously going to be considered some kind of hero? He's a stupid coward. It might be interesting to read his book. Some insight into the mind of a young person who doesn't use their brain.

We watched While You Were Sleeping last night. It feels like they just don't make good chick flicks anymore. Ahhhh... it's so wonderful when you watch her smile as she sees the ring being dropped into the little dish. Apparently, Sarah doesn't like these kinds of movies anymore since she's been "jaded" so I have to watch them all before she gets back.

The rain just increased... maybe I'll go find a book.

A thought for the day (I found this while looking at the "top blogs" on MySpace, which really aren't all that good. ;-))... How would you answer someone who asked you these questions?

Some Interesting News...

2008-04-05T11:56:00.000-07:00

So I'm home this week to visit Sarah and I found a few interesting articles on MSNBC. Check them out...

67-Year-Old Woman Gives Birth To Twins

So she'll be like 100 before she's a Gramma... IF she's alive then.

The Pregnant "Man"

Uh? What? Is it just me or does this feel a little sick and wrong?

Change Is Not Always Good America!

2008-04-04T22:34:00.000-07:00

So today I blog about a complaint I have. Have you ever had a pizza Lunchable? You know, they look like this... ---->

Well, they're actually really good with a whole 15 grams of protein which is quite a bit for what would be considered by most as "junk food." So I'm clearing it up, it's not junk food.

Anyways, on to the complaint. So yesterday I was at the grocery store and they were advertising that pizza Lunchables had a new crust that was like ten times better then the old crust. So I buy one to check it out.

Um.... can we say super yucky? It's probably the worst crust I've ever had on a pizza. Usually the crust is a little bit cracker like and actually tastes good cold. This new stuff is almost like pita bread and made me feel like I was eating raw dough, plus it had a weird taste.

So there we go, don't buy the new pizza Lunchables, they aren't any good. :-P

On to some other confessions... you know though, this won't be a confession to the people that live with me but everyone one else might think it's news, I like Rhianna. It's true. Her songs are catchy and fun to drive by. You should try it sometime. She is a little skank (is that how we decided to spell "skank"?) like but I can overlook it. :-P

The beach was beautiful today. Though I didn't take any pictures. I guess I've been to the Oregon coast so many times I feel like it's plenty documented on film. We did touch the anemones and saw really big starfish, and ate at Mo's. And we bought taffy in Strawberry, Cherry, and Orange flavors. (Didn't really dig the Strawberry) Went to both Seaside and Canon Beach, granted they're only like ten minutes from each other, but still.

Then I talked some of my family into watching Enchanted with me. I just really think that movie's funny. I laugh at the same stuff every time. You should watch it. :-)

Reflections Over Pizza

2008-04-03T11:05:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I had pizza with a really good friend of mine.

And we began talking about all the stuff that's going on in Amanda's life. Like what I'm worried about and what I'm afraid of. And what keeps me from being, me. All the time. We reflected on a few recent victories I've had in that area.

Me, Amanda, I have finally gotten to a place where in the face of someone I'm greatly intimidated by and really hope to please I can say, "I don't agree with you." And then intelligently say why. It's actually a big step. And in the end it's not important whether or not that person is still happy with me, but whether I'm happy with myself.

And I can keep eye contact with my parent and say, "I believe you're wrong." And also again intelligently say why I believe so. Last time this resulted in a facial expression from them that I believe gave away the idea that they knew I was right and they turned and walked away without saying a word in argument.

Then there is the life changing sentence that came from my friend while we were eating pizza, well, he was eating, I was talking, "You don't have to be a grown up right now Amanda, you only have to be twenty-one." Sometimes there is wisdom that comes from your peers. ;-) I've found he's also a much better listener then I or many of my girl friends are. And people say men make bad listeners. :-P

It's true. I don't have to be "_____". You fill in the blank. I only have to be me. I only have to think what I want to think. I only have to do what I want to do. I only have to say what I want to say. And that's perfectly good enough. Good enough for me. And if someone else thinks otherwise, are they really worth my time?

The First Post On The New Blog

2008-04-02T14:36:00.000-07:00

So this is my first post on my new blog. Henceforth where all other blogs shall be posted with possibly a link from MySpace to here. I’m pretty sure you can leave comments on a blogger blog without actually having a blogger blog so this should work with everyone. :-)

The sunshine has arrived here in Discovery Bay and it’s replenishing my serotonins and making me happy. The daisies have started growing in the grass too and that always makes all my problems seem a little bit smaller.

I got permission to leave on Thursday instead of Friday so that I can spend Friday at the beach with Mom and Song In The Night peeps. At least I think it’s Song In The Night peeps that are at the beach this week. Someone confirm this for me. ;-)

A few weeks ago I became a full fledged adult by turning twenty one. Though I’ve yet to go out and buy any alcohol but mostly that’s because I’ve yet to taste anything alcoholic that I like. For my birthday lunch I just ordered Diet Coke.

So this is about all the news I can think of. As more wonderful thoughts come to me I’ll be sure and type them out. And maybe a few pictures from my trip to the beach. :-)